So here we are, 42 posts later, and I've been across the world and back again. I've seen the Pacific from my airplane window as the sun has both set and risen, watched children from both nations run and laugh as their parents chase after them with both glee and frustration, and observed the many differences between our two cultures and also our similarities. So now, I feel I must make some final statement concerning both myself and the experience overall.
I want to first focus on the idea of the "experience". Upon arriving home, I had someone almost instantly tell me that I "should realize what an amazing experience" I had. This, oddly enough, made me a bit mad, and for a couple of reasons. The first is the expectation that I should appreciate the experience and its "amazing-ness". I personally hate expectations like that. What if I didn't have a great experience? What if, instead, I had a really crappy one, or just a mediocre one? Truth be told, overall, the experience *does* feel rather mediocre; at least, for me. And I always have to look at things from my perspective. No, not because of some self-righteous thing. Really, even if I'm looking at somebody else's experience or situation, I'm still evaluating it in comparison to mine. That's how I learn about the world. It's not that my way is the right way or the only way, but it is MY way, and if I am to be me, I have to hold onto that. If you are offended by that, I apologize, but there's no changing that. I just hate that people have these expectations of me and studying in a foreign country.
Which brings me to my second point: really, why is being in a foreign country such an "amazing experience"? I do not say this belittling the idea of going abroad; really, I don't. I feel that studying abroad WAS a great experience. Rather, my point is, why can't EVERY experience be an amazing experience? Why does it have to be the ones that are the most elusive and difficult to obtain? I live my life like everyday is its own. I try not to live it in comparison to the rest because if I do that, then I never fully appreciate what there is to have currently. And there's a lot to be thankful for in the everyday life: friends, family, the city you live in, the people you work with, the job you do, the hobbies you enjoy, and the time you spend just thinking or not thinking. Every moment is precious, and even if you spend it playing video games or lying on the bed, it's *that* moment; you'll never get it back. Doesn't that just make it amazing?
Okay, done ranting about the idea of experience. Now onto what I believe is the most important aspect of "experience": the changes it produces, mainly in oneself.
Here's some things I've noticed about myself since I've been back:
-My hair is longer...and I really like it that way. So do the people who are my best friends. I think I'll keep it like this. :) Still have to dye it, work on my wardrobe now, and so on.
-I'm more forward than before. You have to be in China to survive, and I guess that's crossed over. Not a bad thing at all, just something a bit unusual for the meek David that left.
-If you meet me in the next few weeks, please forgive me if I'm a bit more vulgar than usual. I will try not to be, but after being in China for so long with only students my age who could understand me and didn't care what I said, I've gotten a bit freer with curses and the like. Again, I will try to reign it in, but it's gonna take a little, "Wait, they can understand me again!" to really sink it in.
-I feel more certain about what I want from life and where I am at in it. I suppose that's what I wanted out of the trip all along, but I don't think I really got that part until I got home.
-I'm much more willing to change things now. First thing I did when I got home was rearrange my room completely. I like it a lot better now. :) This applies also to food; if you ask me to eat our somewhere strange, I will most likely be not only willing but wanting to go. (Though I still refuse to eat fish...and I just found out that my dislike of fish might also be genetic! How about that?!)
-I don't think I need as much anymore. I'm looking around my room at all the things I have, and even though I do want more, it's more like I want to replace certain things rather than just keep accumulating more. I can survive on a lot less now, which is a good thing if I ever want to travel again.
I think that's about it. At least, that's all I've noticed. If anyone else has observations, I'd be glad to hear them...or not. :)
Onto observations about America!
-WE'RE FAT! Seriously folks, I'm not saying this to be mean or anything, but I've seen so many more big people here in the last few days than I ever saw in China, I can't not mention it. I don't know that this is entirely a bad thing (unless it is risking your health) because overall, I feel like we're healthier than the Chinese in a lot of aspects; we have more balanced meals, we have healthier teeth, and some other aspects I'm forgetting at the moment. Really, the difference here is EXERCISE. For us, it's not necessary with cars and other technological advances. But for the majority of China, they don't have cars, and even if they want to take the public transportation, they have to walk quite far to/from it to get to there final destination. Therefore, they exercise a lot more naturally and are thinner because of it. Well, that, and eating smaller/less fatty meals. Though oddly enough, I think I gained weight while abroad....
-Public Transportation: Dear America, FIX THIS. Ours sucks. China's beats ours by great margins, even between cities. Make it more affordable, more accessible, and more available at odd times. We wouldn't be so tied to our cars then, and maybe we'd be better for it. Thank you, David.
-Chinese people are so nice. I don't know whether this is just because I was a foreigner, but I felt like they were so much nicer to me in stores and so on than American clerks. I've said nice things about the clerks here in the last few days, and all I've gotten was disdain. C'mon, people, other people aren't so bad. (I say this knowing in a few weeks, I'll be complaining about the idiots at IMAX again...do as I say, not as I do)
-Where is everyone!? So many less people in the US than in China...I can actually BREATH again.
-I'm not afraid of dying in the street everyday in the US now that I've seen the INSANE Chinese traffic. Well, maybe these days I am, thanks to the large amounts of snow...but that's temporary!
I might add more to this list later, but for now, let's call it good.
Okay folks, I think that finally wraps up Du Kai's Journal. Thank you all for being here with me and letting me share with you everything I did. Again, I doubt that I'll post here again, but you can always catch me at The Daily Acts of Jack Ex Machina (there's a link right there! You can click it! Clicky!) and at my various Facebook and email addresses.
Maybe this'll come back if I go to China again...but you'll probably know that before I do, haha.
A final Zaijian and good wishes,
Du Kai
Sunday, December 21, 2008
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
Thoughts before I leave Zhongguo
I have a day now before I'm officially leaving the country. As it is, I'd like to share with you some things that I've learned, mainly about myself.
- I'm very independent. In a country like China, that's very unusual, so it stood out more. Very rarely will people go out and even eat dinner if they do not go out with family and friends. I, however, dislike waiting around for other people and being a slave to their schedules. It was often awkward for me to do so when I went out, but again, I , so if no one else was ready to go out and eat, I went by myself. Same thing I've mentioned with trips. I just like doing things on my own terms. I'm patient to a degree, but after a while...grr. Of course, my mother would say that I've been like that for years, but it really stood out here. Even on my last day, I didn't want to go with the group. I like having my space and my own expectations.
- I'll be more ready to travel in the US. After traveling to Xi'an and Beijing and Shanghai, I feel confident that I could do similar exploits in the states. Granted, it would cost a lot more money than in China, so I'd have to budget it out more, but my point is, I could still do it. A benefit of doing it in the US would be I COULD UNDERSTAND THE SIGNS! Seriously, you don't know the luxury that is until it isn't there anymore....
- I'm worried about when I come back. There's a part of me that really wants everything to be the way it was before I left. Of course, not going to happen, but still...can't help what I want. I'm just worried that my expectations will be too...something, I'm not sure. I guess it's all just a part of the anxiety of returning.
- Culture shock: probably will happen upon my return. Never really happened here, but I have a feeling that coming back, I'll be shocked...culturally speaking, of course. ;) All kidding aside, I do think that my transition back to the States will be more difficult than that to China, especially in terms of money. It's been so easy to spend here, I'm amazed I didn't spend more than I have.
Alright, I think that's it for now. One more post when I return to the States. And if my count is correct, that post will be number 42...oh jeez, now all the "Hitchhiker's" fans are going to swarm out....
Zaijian!
Du Kai
- I'm very independent. In a country like China, that's very unusual, so it stood out more. Very rarely will people go out and even eat dinner if they do not go out with family and friends. I, however, dislike waiting around for other people and being a slave to their schedules. It was often awkward for me to do so when I went out, but again, I , so if no one else was ready to go out and eat, I went by myself. Same thing I've mentioned with trips. I just like doing things on my own terms. I'm patient to a degree, but after a while...grr. Of course, my mother would say that I've been like that for years, but it really stood out here. Even on my last day, I didn't want to go with the group. I like having my space and my own expectations.
- I'll be more ready to travel in the US. After traveling to Xi'an and Beijing and Shanghai, I feel confident that I could do similar exploits in the states. Granted, it would cost a lot more money than in China, so I'd have to budget it out more, but my point is, I could still do it. A benefit of doing it in the US would be I COULD UNDERSTAND THE SIGNS! Seriously, you don't know the luxury that is until it isn't there anymore....
- I'm worried about when I come back. There's a part of me that really wants everything to be the way it was before I left. Of course, not going to happen, but still...can't help what I want. I'm just worried that my expectations will be too...something, I'm not sure. I guess it's all just a part of the anxiety of returning.
- Culture shock: probably will happen upon my return. Never really happened here, but I have a feeling that coming back, I'll be shocked...culturally speaking, of course. ;) All kidding aside, I do think that my transition back to the States will be more difficult than that to China, especially in terms of money. It's been so easy to spend here, I'm amazed I didn't spend more than I have.
Alright, I think that's it for now. One more post when I return to the States. And if my count is correct, that post will be number 42...oh jeez, now all the "Hitchhiker's" fans are going to swarm out....
Zaijian!
Du Kai
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
Did I say that I couldn't upload pictures until my return to the states?
I guess I lied then. WHOOPS, sorry, I'm sure you're all so disappointed in me. Don't worry, I'll cluck my tongue at myself just for the heck of it.
Here, as peace offering:
As well as links to the albums themselves! All of them!
I apologize again for lying. I only hope that in time, you will forgive my lack of faith in my computer.
Here, as peace offering:
As well as links to the albums themselves! All of them!
 |
| China |
 |
| China Part 2ish |
 |
| Xi'an |
I apologize again for lying. I only hope that in time, you will forgive my lack of faith in my computer.
Sunday, December 14, 2008
Post Xi'an, Pre-America
A few hours ago, I returned from my trip to Xi'an.
HOLY. MOLY.
What a city! I was only there for two days, but I did a lot. Within the first day, I made it to the Terracotta Warriors and not much else, but really, I got to see a lot of the inner city which was a treat. From the main streets, it looks like a lot of cities, from the bright lights and usual stores to the mass of people trying to get around on bikes, cars, and foot. A few things separate it from other areas, though. One is there seemed to be a law that forced all of the buildings within the city wall to be built with traditional Chinese roofs. I love Chinese architecture, so I loved that. Another is...there was a freaking city wall! How awesome is that!? (Pictures are to follow back in the states...I'm having some computer-to-camera problems at the moment) It surrounded the "downtown" area of Xi'an and was the first thing I saw upon exiting the train. Although not as awesome as the Great Wall (few things are...and yes, I use the true term of "awesome" meaning "awe-inspiring"), it still was a sight to see. Finally, once we escaped the main streets a little bit, there were a ton of little stores, streets, and other things. Xi'an also has an area known to English speakers as the "Muslim quarters", which is as the name implies. I don't know why there is such a concentration of Muslims in Xi'an (I haven't seen or heard of that happening elsewhere), but it was well worth looking at, especially the Great Mosque. I will have pictures of that later as well since I think words do not do it justice.
When we got out of the city limits a little bit, it was for one main reason: to see the sights. Yeah, a little touristy, but it was worth it. The Terracotta Army was amazing, as were the Little and Big Goose Pagodas (seen on the second and last day). I'm starting to run low on energy, so I can't give good descriptions right now. I'm not even sure I could with enormous amount of energy. There's just very little I can say about how they all were completely amazing and Chinese and worth every thing I spent on them.
It was a very small group that went this time, and as per usual, I tend to like that better. Leland (another SU student) and I were the only ones, but it really made the experience more enjoyable. We both didn't care where we ate or if we ate at the same places more than once, something my other friends sometimes have a problem with. We also both liked to move faster, so we got to see more, something I also enjoy. I don't mind taking my time when there is time to take...but there usually isn't. So we worked well together. :)
I have a few days left in China. Most of them will be spent packing, getting ready to leave, and in Shanghai right before I get on a plane at the Pudong Airport to head over to San Fran and then back up to Seattle. There's a Christmas party at a local bar that I plan on going to, but other than that, I might just wander the city of Suzhou a bit more. We'll see.
Oh, and by the way, a specific message: Kenna, it would be AWESOME if you helped me with the map. :)
Okay, I think I'm going to pass out. I haven't slept well for a couple of days (combination train rides and bad dreams), so I be very tired. There'll probably be one or two more posts after this, both right before and after I return to the States, but this is about it, folks. I'm very excited to see most of you very soon, and I hope you are to see me as well. I think I will also begin updating my other blog (jackjarden.blogspot.com) upon my return, so if you have enjoyed reading my nonsensical ramblings, please feel free to read that as well.
And again, pictures sometime in the near future. I promise.
Zaijian!
Du Kai
HOLY. MOLY.
What a city! I was only there for two days, but I did a lot. Within the first day, I made it to the Terracotta Warriors and not much else, but really, I got to see a lot of the inner city which was a treat. From the main streets, it looks like a lot of cities, from the bright lights and usual stores to the mass of people trying to get around on bikes, cars, and foot. A few things separate it from other areas, though. One is there seemed to be a law that forced all of the buildings within the city wall to be built with traditional Chinese roofs. I love Chinese architecture, so I loved that. Another is...there was a freaking city wall! How awesome is that!? (Pictures are to follow back in the states...I'm having some computer-to-camera problems at the moment) It surrounded the "downtown" area of Xi'an and was the first thing I saw upon exiting the train. Although not as awesome as the Great Wall (few things are...and yes, I use the true term of "awesome" meaning "awe-inspiring"), it still was a sight to see. Finally, once we escaped the main streets a little bit, there were a ton of little stores, streets, and other things. Xi'an also has an area known to English speakers as the "Muslim quarters", which is as the name implies. I don't know why there is such a concentration of Muslims in Xi'an (I haven't seen or heard of that happening elsewhere), but it was well worth looking at, especially the Great Mosque. I will have pictures of that later as well since I think words do not do it justice.
When we got out of the city limits a little bit, it was for one main reason: to see the sights. Yeah, a little touristy, but it was worth it. The Terracotta Army was amazing, as were the Little and Big Goose Pagodas (seen on the second and last day). I'm starting to run low on energy, so I can't give good descriptions right now. I'm not even sure I could with enormous amount of energy. There's just very little I can say about how they all were completely amazing and Chinese and worth every thing I spent on them.
It was a very small group that went this time, and as per usual, I tend to like that better. Leland (another SU student) and I were the only ones, but it really made the experience more enjoyable. We both didn't care where we ate or if we ate at the same places more than once, something my other friends sometimes have a problem with. We also both liked to move faster, so we got to see more, something I also enjoy. I don't mind taking my time when there is time to take...but there usually isn't. So we worked well together. :)
I have a few days left in China. Most of them will be spent packing, getting ready to leave, and in Shanghai right before I get on a plane at the Pudong Airport to head over to San Fran and then back up to Seattle. There's a Christmas party at a local bar that I plan on going to, but other than that, I might just wander the city of Suzhou a bit more. We'll see.
Oh, and by the way, a specific message: Kenna, it would be AWESOME if you helped me with the map. :)
Okay, I think I'm going to pass out. I haven't slept well for a couple of days (combination train rides and bad dreams), so I be very tired. There'll probably be one or two more posts after this, both right before and after I return to the States, but this is about it, folks. I'm very excited to see most of you very soon, and I hope you are to see me as well. I think I will also begin updating my other blog (jackjarden.blogspot.com) upon my return, so if you have enjoyed reading my nonsensical ramblings, please feel free to read that as well.
And again, pictures sometime in the near future. I promise.
Zaijian!
Du Kai
Thursday, December 11, 2008
And...done
Today is a landmark day. For today, not only have I taken my last Chinese language final EVER (I seriously think ever; there's no more classes available at SU, and if I study it at a school again, it'll be in a less GPA-dependent zone), but it is also a week from today that I get on the plane that will return me to the United States of 'Merica.
WOO.
In other news, I will be leaving for Xi'an shortly, so be prepared for pictures shortly there after. And Facebook followers (if I have any), there will be a literal picture DELUGE when I get back to the States. I have over 400 pictures on my computer right now from my experiences in China. AND THEY ARE ALL GOING UP.
That's it for now. Remember! Eat your green vegetables, don't do drugs, and for the love of all that is holy, STAY IN SCHOOL, KIDS.
Zaijian!
Du Kai
P.S. I think Du Kai will be my band stage name...I'm not giving up that name quite yet. :D
WOO.
In other news, I will be leaving for Xi'an shortly, so be prepared for pictures shortly there after. And Facebook followers (if I have any), there will be a literal picture DELUGE when I get back to the States. I have over 400 pictures on my computer right now from my experiences in China. AND THEY ARE ALL GOING UP.
That's it for now. Remember! Eat your green vegetables, don't do drugs, and for the love of all that is holy, STAY IN SCHOOL, KIDS.
Zaijian!
Du Kai
P.S. I think Du Kai will be my band stage name...I'm not giving up that name quite yet. :D
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
ONE DOWN
That's a final that's down. Nobody died, DON'T WORRY.
I have two finals left, but I honestly believe this was the hardest one.
And this is the end of my blog. Might have been the shortest one so far.
Zaijian!
Du Kai
I have two finals left, but I honestly believe this was the hardest one.
And this is the end of my blog. Might have been the shortest one so far.
Zaijian!
Du Kai
Sunday, December 7, 2008
The other day...oh yeah, and today too
So the other day (see, I'm not above re-using the title in my writing!), my friends invited me to go sing karaoke with them. While it might have been a good thing to say "yes" and get out of the room for a little bit, I had a feeling that I was going to do something that night that would be good for Age of Thieves. I didn't know whether it was a greater focus on writing itself or doing something else, but I was in the "right mood".
Well, I didn't get any writing done...but I did get something equally important done.
I drew a map.
I've been meaning to do that for a LONG time, but I've just never sat down and done it. I'm a little afraid of drawing because I know I'm not a good artist. Even if I worked at it, I wouldn't be very good. But this is something that I had to do. Nobody else could draw the world of Age of Thieves for me; otherwise, I would lose all connection to it. So I sat down, drew out a rough draft on one piece of paper, then sat down with two other pieces of paper, carefully lined them up (yeah, I needed that much room for details and such), and began drawing. I had in my mind some ideas of where I wanted things to be. I also had planned out some natural geography, including where some plate tectonics where (I got that into detail. Go me!), what the shape of the continents were supposed to be, and what would be important to the story. When I finished my first draft, I was pretty pleased...but I knew it wasn't done yet. So another hour and a half later of erasing coastal lines, making things more jagged, adding in bays and whatnot, I finally had my final product. I wish I could show it to you, but I wouldn't trust my camera to capture it accurately, and I don't have a scanner. Needless to say, I am very proud of myself for creating what I did, even if there is no color nor any topography on it. I also apparently can't draw islands, so I left them out entirely.... Point is, I expanded my boundaries, and now, if I want someone else to do some drawings for me, I can hand them these pieces of paper, point, and say, "It should look like THIS." How cool is that?
Speaking of this, I'm looking for someone to be my "to-go" person as far as drawing is concerned. I will use the term "hiring" because it WILL involve some pay. My idea is this: I will pay on commission for specific drawings (a fair price decided beforehand, then re-evaluated after the final product, just so I'm not getting stiffed either), and the artist will retain partial rights to any products, so if Age of Thieves were to become published and much money were to be had, the artist would not be left out in the cold in any of that.
I'm serious when I'm saying this. I want Age of Thieves to do well, and I think part of that is having good art to go with it. I'm looking for a partner to help with a great lot of this since this isn't my forte. Heck, if we wanted to, we could make a graphic novel of it! I'd LOVE to do that. So I need someone equally serious and equally dedicated. I haven't been in recent years, but I swear that I will be soon, with or without an artist.
So if you are interested or know someone who might be, please have them get in touch with me. Post a comment or send a message to this blog relaying contact info (my stuff is on my info page), and we'll talk. We'll also probably talk more upon my return from China.
SPEAKING OF CHINA!
I went to Tiger Hill today. It is a local Suzhou tourist attraction, and a fun one at that. There's a pagoda that leans like the Leaning Tower of Pisa but is both larger and older, and a few other sites with fun stories behind them. Basically, though, it was just a very scenic spot. I'll post pictures soon, I promise. Only reason I don't do it now is because IT'S VERY COLD HERE and my fingers have almost no heat left after typing all that I just did.
Can't buy Xi'an ticket until tomorrow...which I kinda don't like, but OH WELL. At least I'm going. Then I'll have even MORE pictures.
Less than two weeks, people! I'm almost home.
Zaijian!
Du Kai
Well, I didn't get any writing done...but I did get something equally important done.
I drew a map.
I've been meaning to do that for a LONG time, but I've just never sat down and done it. I'm a little afraid of drawing because I know I'm not a good artist. Even if I worked at it, I wouldn't be very good. But this is something that I had to do. Nobody else could draw the world of Age of Thieves for me; otherwise, I would lose all connection to it. So I sat down, drew out a rough draft on one piece of paper, then sat down with two other pieces of paper, carefully lined them up (yeah, I needed that much room for details and such), and began drawing. I had in my mind some ideas of where I wanted things to be. I also had planned out some natural geography, including where some plate tectonics where (I got that into detail. Go me!), what the shape of the continents were supposed to be, and what would be important to the story. When I finished my first draft, I was pretty pleased...but I knew it wasn't done yet. So another hour and a half later of erasing coastal lines, making things more jagged, adding in bays and whatnot, I finally had my final product. I wish I could show it to you, but I wouldn't trust my camera to capture it accurately, and I don't have a scanner. Needless to say, I am very proud of myself for creating what I did, even if there is no color nor any topography on it. I also apparently can't draw islands, so I left them out entirely.... Point is, I expanded my boundaries, and now, if I want someone else to do some drawings for me, I can hand them these pieces of paper, point, and say, "It should look like THIS." How cool is that?
Speaking of this, I'm looking for someone to be my "to-go" person as far as drawing is concerned. I will use the term "hiring" because it WILL involve some pay. My idea is this: I will pay on commission for specific drawings (a fair price decided beforehand, then re-evaluated after the final product, just so I'm not getting stiffed either), and the artist will retain partial rights to any products, so if Age of Thieves were to become published and much money were to be had, the artist would not be left out in the cold in any of that.
I'm serious when I'm saying this. I want Age of Thieves to do well, and I think part of that is having good art to go with it. I'm looking for a partner to help with a great lot of this since this isn't my forte. Heck, if we wanted to, we could make a graphic novel of it! I'd LOVE to do that. So I need someone equally serious and equally dedicated. I haven't been in recent years, but I swear that I will be soon, with or without an artist.
So if you are interested or know someone who might be, please have them get in touch with me. Post a comment or send a message to this blog relaying contact info (my stuff is on my info page), and we'll talk. We'll also probably talk more upon my return from China.
SPEAKING OF CHINA!
I went to Tiger Hill today. It is a local Suzhou tourist attraction, and a fun one at that. There's a pagoda that leans like the Leaning Tower of Pisa but is both larger and older, and a few other sites with fun stories behind them. Basically, though, it was just a very scenic spot. I'll post pictures soon, I promise. Only reason I don't do it now is because IT'S VERY COLD HERE and my fingers have almost no heat left after typing all that I just did.
Can't buy Xi'an ticket until tomorrow...which I kinda don't like, but OH WELL. At least I'm going. Then I'll have even MORE pictures.
Less than two weeks, people! I'm almost home.
Zaijian!
Du Kai
Thursday, December 4, 2008
Other travel places
As my time in China comes to a close, I've begun to think if I want to travel elsewhere.
The answer?
Not for a while.
But yes.
I haven't realized it, but my mind has been building up a series of places that I want to go to before my untimely demise. A list of these places includes (but is not limited to:
Machu Picchu.
Sydney, Australia (mainly to see the Opera House).
Easter Island.
An Aztec pyramid.
Ireland.
Japan (mainly Tokyo, but also other places).
Possibly Egypt...I am undecided, truth be told.
Greece.
Italy (Rome and Venice, specifically).
I don't know if I'll ever be able to go to all of them, but hey, I came to China, didn't I? I think Machu Picchu will be next one.... How about a world tour, huh?!
I've been blogging nearly every day for a while, haven't I? Suppose that's a good thing, overall.
Oh, by the way, I've decided that I'm going to Xi'an, specifically to see the terracotta army. That should be great fun! I'm also planning on stopping at a few pagodas as well...don't know which ones, though.
Alright, I'm done. Man, I made a lot of double spacing between thoughts in this particular blog....
Zaijian!
Du Kai
The answer?
Not for a while.
But yes.
I haven't realized it, but my mind has been building up a series of places that I want to go to before my untimely demise. A list of these places includes (but is not limited to:
Machu Picchu.
Sydney, Australia (mainly to see the Opera House).
Easter Island.
An Aztec pyramid.
Ireland.
Japan (mainly Tokyo, but also other places).
Possibly Egypt...I am undecided, truth be told.
Greece.
Italy (Rome and Venice, specifically).
I don't know if I'll ever be able to go to all of them, but hey, I came to China, didn't I? I think Machu Picchu will be next one.... How about a world tour, huh?!
I've been blogging nearly every day for a while, haven't I? Suppose that's a good thing, overall.
Oh, by the way, I've decided that I'm going to Xi'an, specifically to see the terracotta army. That should be great fun! I'm also planning on stopping at a few pagodas as well...don't know which ones, though.
Alright, I'm done. Man, I made a lot of double spacing between thoughts in this particular blog....
Zaijian!
Du Kai
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
Would it be weird?
If I were to buy glasses, not for reading purposes, but for style? Would that be weird?
I've had so many people tell me I look better with glasses, and truth be told, I think so as well. But I don't know, does that come off as extremely hipster? If I were to get some fake ones, they probably wouldn't be the big black bulky frames that are "in style"; I'd probably get some sleeker looking ones.
Weird thoughts...I have them.
I've had so many people tell me I look better with glasses, and truth be told, I think so as well. But I don't know, does that come off as extremely hipster? If I were to get some fake ones, they probably wouldn't be the big black bulky frames that are "in style"; I'd probably get some sleeker looking ones.
Weird thoughts...I have them.
Tuesday, December 2, 2008
Random note for the day
Something I meant to blog about after it happened but just never got around to it.
One of my teachers, while explaining a phrase in Chinese, proceeded to say one of the funniest things I've heard while here.
"Bling bling de".
That's right, she used "bling bling". The "de" just made it an adjective. So basically, she said that the object was bling-blinging.
That made me so incredibly happy, you have no idea. :)
By the way, again, if you'd like anything from China, please let me know. And I mean "anything". I may not get gifts for everyone because, well, I don't know WHAT to get. I have a bunch of postcards that you are free to look at, and the pictures are up for grabs. But other than immediate family members and close friends, I probably won't get something for everyone. I feel like I want to, but it's just not in the cards.
One of my teachers, while explaining a phrase in Chinese, proceeded to say one of the funniest things I've heard while here.
"Bling bling de".
That's right, she used "bling bling". The "de" just made it an adjective. So basically, she said that the object was bling-blinging.
That made me so incredibly happy, you have no idea. :)
By the way, again, if you'd like anything from China, please let me know. And I mean "anything". I may not get gifts for everyone because, well, I don't know WHAT to get. I have a bunch of postcards that you are free to look at, and the pictures are up for grabs. But other than immediate family members and close friends, I probably won't get something for everyone. I feel like I want to, but it's just not in the cards.
Sunday, November 30, 2008
Yo ho, Yo ho
A pirate's life for me...which has nothing to do with the following blog post. I just had it going through my head. :)
So here's the latest from Suzhou: I thought our finals were going to be in two weeks. I thought I would have them right before I came back home. I thought I was going to have just a couple more weekends to travel haphazardly to some places.
Apparently, I thought wrong.
Our finals are NEXT week (AHHHHH!), which means I have a week to study, a week of finals, then almost an entire week to do...whatever I want to do.
EXCITING!
...can I come home early?
Nah, I think I'll take advantage of the time and try and travel. Anyone have any suggestions? I've gone to Beijing and Shanghai. I'm thinking maybe Nanjing or Guangzhou (though Guangzhou might be a little sketchy...). Can't do Hong Kong; I'd have to do a visa renew if I went that route. Maybe Xi'an if I can figure out the time. It'd be cool to see the terracotta soldiers.
And if I can't figure out anything, I might just return home a little early. Who knows!? :)
Alright, that's all from me now. I've gotta go study...or at least try.
(This is normally where I'd say "good bye" and my name in Chinese...but since the computer failure, my computer doesn't seem to want to let me do that. How odd. Time for Pinyin!)
Zaijian!
Du Kai
So here's the latest from Suzhou: I thought our finals were going to be in two weeks. I thought I would have them right before I came back home. I thought I was going to have just a couple more weekends to travel haphazardly to some places.
Apparently, I thought wrong.
Our finals are NEXT week (AHHHHH!), which means I have a week to study, a week of finals, then almost an entire week to do...whatever I want to do.
EXCITING!
...can I come home early?
Nah, I think I'll take advantage of the time and try and travel. Anyone have any suggestions? I've gone to Beijing and Shanghai. I'm thinking maybe Nanjing or Guangzhou (though Guangzhou might be a little sketchy...). Can't do Hong Kong; I'd have to do a visa renew if I went that route. Maybe Xi'an if I can figure out the time. It'd be cool to see the terracotta soldiers.
And if I can't figure out anything, I might just return home a little early. Who knows!? :)
Alright, that's all from me now. I've gotta go study...or at least try.
(This is normally where I'd say "good bye" and my name in Chinese...but since the computer failure, my computer doesn't seem to want to let me do that. How odd. Time for Pinyin!)
Zaijian!
Du Kai
Thursday, November 27, 2008
Dear sweet life, how I loathe thee sometimes
So I've been internet silent for the past couple of days. Why? Not on my own volition, I can tell you that much. No, my computer finally caught a virus, and woo doggy, when it catches a virus, it CATCHES a virus. I've been unable to do ANYTHING with my computer for the last 3 days. After looking at it myself and with friends for the last couple of days, I finally decided to go to a computer place here and get everything fixed. Well, I did that...but part of getting rid of the virus I had meant that nearly everything I had was wiped from my computer. The people gave me a ghost file so I could get what I wanted from it, but most of it right now is unusable. Meaning I have to download it again...so I will either have to wait until I'm back in the States or download them at 3 in the morning here. Because the internet here is so slow. So slow...snail slow.
Never before have I hated the Chinese internet so very much.
Regardless! I have Skype back, I can access the internet once more, and I even got the backlight on my computer replaced for far less than it would have cost in the States. Here's me looking on the bright side of life.
Never before have I hated the Chinese internet so very much.
Regardless! I have Skype back, I can access the internet once more, and I even got the backlight on my computer replaced for far less than it would have cost in the States. Here's me looking on the bright side of life.
Sunday, November 23, 2008
Back from Beijing
As the title says, I'm back from the northern end of China. I'm pretty tired, but I'll try to give as best a summary of the experience as possible. Essentially, we left Thursday night on the overnight train to Beijing. What was rather scary for me was the bed that was supposedly very uncomfortable was a heck of a lot better than my regular bed here in China. Yeah...go figure. Didn't get to sleep much, though, because of just general travel anxiety and so on. We arrived Friday morning, ate some food, went to our hotel, got checked in, then immediately went out on the town. Our first stops were the Forbidden City and Tian'anmen Square. Although we didn't spend nearly as long there as I personally would have liked, I still got a good feel for it all and enjoyed it pretty well. Our next stop was the Olympic stadium, aka the Bird's Nest. Even though I have no interest in the Olympic stuff at all, that was also very interesting. Only problem with that was we had to wait for one of our group member's friends there for a LONG time, and it was getting cold! I thought my feet were going to freeze off. Afterward, we went out for Peking duck, the rest of the group went out drinking, and I proceeded to fall asleep back at the hotel. The next day, I had originally planned on visiting the Great Wall, but no plans were set, so that was delayed for the day. Instead, we spent most of the day on our feet, exploring Beijing, eventually ending up at a Beijing alleyway (otherwise known as a "hutong" 胡同) called Liulicheng where we bought many items (I'm not telling you what I bought because some of it may be gifts for people) and explored around a bit more. After eating dinner, the rest of the group wanted to go out drinking again, so I went along. It turned out to be a pretty big bust, though; nobody was satisfied with anyplace we went to, and by the time we were figuring out that we needed to go to a completely different area, those of us going to the Great Wall the next day needed to be back at the hotel sleeping. So we just went back and slept.
Now, my Great Wall experience: PHENOMENAL. The Great Wall is one of the places that I've wanted to go to all my stinkin' life (another being the Sydney Opera house, for some odd reason), and I was not disappointed. It was cold, the hike was long, and even for not being tourist season, it was crowded...but it was so worth it. I can't even describe how I felt. I really could have spent all day there, but alas, we needed to head back and catch our train. Our train ride back was honestly too warm, and we had a few hardcore snorers, so when we arrived in Suzhou at 7:45 this morning, it was pretty much clear to all of us that class was not an option. Since then, I've just been uploading photos for you fine folks to enjoy:
And now I'm off to get some food!
再见！
杜楷
Now, my Great Wall experience: PHENOMENAL. The Great Wall is one of the places that I've wanted to go to all my stinkin' life (another being the Sydney Opera house, for some odd reason), and I was not disappointed. It was cold, the hike was long, and even for not being tourist season, it was crowded...but it was so worth it. I can't even describe how I felt. I really could have spent all day there, but alas, we needed to head back and catch our train. Our train ride back was honestly too warm, and we had a few hardcore snorers, so when we arrived in Suzhou at 7:45 this morning, it was pretty much clear to all of us that class was not an option. Since then, I've just been uploading photos for you fine folks to enjoy:
And now I'm off to get some food!
再见！
杜楷
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
Going to Beijing
I'm really excited for the Beijing trip. It's the area of China I've wanted to go to the most since I've been here. I just wish the stay there was longer.... We're leaving tonight, probably getting back Monday, so all should be good. =)
Random grammar note: (because I constantly think about grammar...what, you don't?)
In Chinese, to make a yes/no question, they either repeat the verb with a negative marker between the repeated verb (是不是，有没有, with 不 and 没 being the negative markers) or add 吗 at the end of a sentence. In English, we simply move the verb to the front of the sentence ("He is American" compared to "Is he American?"). There are notable exceptions to this, of course, such as not needing a "do" in "He likes to ride bicycles" as compared to the question "Does he like to ride bicycles?", but for the most part, it's moving a verb to the beginning of the sentence that immediately makes us aware that the next sentence is interrogative. We also use tones in our speech to indicate (emphasis on the verb and a rising tone at the end of "He likes to ride bikes" makes it "He likes to ride bikes?") but that's more us being lazy than anything, I think. Not that there's anything wrong with lazy; all languages do the lazy thing. I get annoyed with double third tones in Chinese.... Just something to think about, really.
Anyway, just wanted to tell all y'alls where I'm going to be for the next few days in case ya miss me.
再见！
杜楷
Random grammar note: (because I constantly think about grammar...what, you don't?)
In Chinese, to make a yes/no question, they either repeat the verb with a negative marker between the repeated verb (是不是，有没有, with 不 and 没 being the negative markers) or add 吗 at the end of a sentence. In English, we simply move the verb to the front of the sentence ("He is American" compared to "Is he American?"). There are notable exceptions to this, of course, such as not needing a "do" in "He likes to ride bicycles" as compared to the question "Does he like to ride bicycles?", but for the most part, it's moving a verb to the beginning of the sentence that immediately makes us aware that the next sentence is interrogative. We also use tones in our speech to indicate (emphasis on the verb and a rising tone at the end of "He likes to ride bikes" makes it "He likes to ride bikes?") but that's more us being lazy than anything, I think. Not that there's anything wrong with lazy; all languages do the lazy thing. I get annoyed with double third tones in Chinese.... Just something to think about, really.
Anyway, just wanted to tell all y'alls where I'm going to be for the next few days in case ya miss me.
再见！
杜楷
Monday, November 17, 2008
Homestretch
This is it. It is pretty much the last month I will be in China. I refuse to say "ever" because, well, who can tell what the future will hold?
I know that I'm ready to come home. I also know that I've been saying that since the beginning, which *does* make one question whether this whole trip has been worth it. Despite my reservations and whatnot, I'd say...yes, it has been worth it. I haven't done as much as I'd liked to have done, but you know what? "Que sera, sera." Words I live by every day of my life now. If I didn't do some stuff, then I wasn't supposed to do some stuff. I can only make peace with that and move on to the next stage.
So one last little note to all my followers out there. In all likelihood, I will probably buy people Christmas gifts here in China. Kinda the occupational hazard of being a student basically right up until Christmas Day. Problem is, I'm horrible at buying souvenirs for myself, much less for others. So if there's anything you think you want (no, I'm not buying a monkey for anyone, thanks for playing, good night), please let me know. It won't be much of a surprise, I admit, but again, I'm at a loss. Some people have said chopsticks. Others have said "meh, get me whatever." The first one is good, even if it isn't *that* special. I don't like "mehs", though. If you want something, people, something preferable feasible, let me know asapy. That's a word that I just made up...well, not really. If you don't let me know and you aren't immediate friends or family...you probably won't get anything. Sorry dolls, way of the world. Can't please everyone. I'll do my best, though. Just looking for some ideas. =)
Good news: I've done fairly well on all my midterms. Not perfect, mind you, but considering the material, the fact that I feel lost in class nearly every day, and, oh yeah, CHINESE, I'd say scores from the mid 70's to mid 80's is pretty good. Plus, I'm not too worried overall. When the person (who is a native English speaker as well) whom you think is probably one of the best students in the class gets around the same grade as you, you tend to feel, "okay, I'm not horrible at this at least...." Right?
Otherwise, this month is gonna go kinda slow, I think. The weather is cold, making it hard to want to go out a whole lot. After meeting up with Ally, I really wish I could just be traveling the world with her and her friends. And, oh yeah, my computer backlight is dying on me. I think I mentioned that before...if not, there you go. No more warranty, so now every cost will go to me. Wonderful.
I'll make it through, though. Got a lot to look forward to: music, family, friends, a good job (thank you IMAX for not being the CAC and letting me come back!), and home.
Home...I like the sound of that word.
Home.
Home home home.
Home.
Okay, I'm done, I swear!
...
Home.
再见！
杜楷
I know that I'm ready to come home. I also know that I've been saying that since the beginning, which *does* make one question whether this whole trip has been worth it. Despite my reservations and whatnot, I'd say...yes, it has been worth it. I haven't done as much as I'd liked to have done, but you know what? "Que sera, sera." Words I live by every day of my life now. If I didn't do some stuff, then I wasn't supposed to do some stuff. I can only make peace with that and move on to the next stage.
So one last little note to all my followers out there. In all likelihood, I will probably buy people Christmas gifts here in China. Kinda the occupational hazard of being a student basically right up until Christmas Day. Problem is, I'm horrible at buying souvenirs for myself, much less for others. So if there's anything you think you want (no, I'm not buying a monkey for anyone, thanks for playing, good night), please let me know. It won't be much of a surprise, I admit, but again, I'm at a loss. Some people have said chopsticks. Others have said "meh, get me whatever." The first one is good, even if it isn't *that* special. I don't like "mehs", though. If you want something, people, something preferable feasible, let me know asapy. That's a word that I just made up...well, not really. If you don't let me know and you aren't immediate friends or family...you probably won't get anything. Sorry dolls, way of the world. Can't please everyone. I'll do my best, though. Just looking for some ideas. =)
Good news: I've done fairly well on all my midterms. Not perfect, mind you, but considering the material, the fact that I feel lost in class nearly every day, and, oh yeah, CHINESE, I'd say scores from the mid 70's to mid 80's is pretty good. Plus, I'm not too worried overall. When the person (who is a native English speaker as well) whom you think is probably one of the best students in the class gets around the same grade as you, you tend to feel, "okay, I'm not horrible at this at least...." Right?
Otherwise, this month is gonna go kinda slow, I think. The weather is cold, making it hard to want to go out a whole lot. After meeting up with Ally, I really wish I could just be traveling the world with her and her friends. And, oh yeah, my computer backlight is dying on me. I think I mentioned that before...if not, there you go. No more warranty, so now every cost will go to me. Wonderful.
I'll make it through, though. Got a lot to look forward to: music, family, friends, a good job (thank you IMAX for not being the CAC and letting me come back!), and home.
Home...I like the sound of that word.
Home.
Home home home.
Home.
Okay, I'm done, I swear!
...
Home.
再见！
杜楷
Thursday, November 13, 2008
Midterms are done, and Shanghai was the reward
So, I have no idea if I ever mentioned it on this blog: midterms were last week. I know I passed two of the three I had, so I'm hopeful about the third, though it was the hardest overall and the one I had the least motivation to study for. I should have known at the beginning of the week what my score was...but I didn't go to class. Wanna know why?
Because I was in SHANGHAI! That's why.
Basically, Ally (a fellow SU student and friend) is also studying abroad, though her trip is far cooler because, well, she gets to go around the world! Pretty much already has been. One of the stops was Shanghai, and since we both knew that it was coming up, we made plans for me to come to Shanghai and act as a tour guide for her and her friends for a few days. Turned out that their arrival date was almost right after my last midterm. Talk about perfect timing, huh?
So I went over to Shanghai a day before they arrived (the day after my final midterm), stayed the day in the hotel getting clean (because the bathroom at the hotel was so much better than my dorm's), and did some research on where we should go. I met them at the train station the next day, though I was a little frightened I wasn't going to be able to find them since I didn't know exactly which terminal they were coming out of. We met up, I was introduced to Carly and Rob, found something to eat, they got their money exchanged, got checked into the hotel I was staying at, got ready to go out for the night, we hit a few bars and clubs, then watched a movie. I wasn't overly satisfied with that day, so the next day, I made sure we did a lot of touristy stuff, like going up the Oriental Pearl tower (three times the size of the Space Needle for reference), going through the Bund Sightseeing Tunnel (which was about the closest I've ever felt like I was on drugs), then a few more sights, bars, and clubs. It all turned out quite well. Only thing that turned sour was I didn't have my camera for it. I'll have to steal some pictures from the others....
Anyway, that was basically it. I missed class Wednesday because I was so tired from the previous days (we didn't much sleep any of the nights), but I'm back on track now...to mess it up when I go to Beijing in the hopefully not too distant future.
And that's all I've got for now.
再见，
杜楷
Because I was in SHANGHAI! That's why.
Basically, Ally (a fellow SU student and friend) is also studying abroad, though her trip is far cooler because, well, she gets to go around the world! Pretty much already has been. One of the stops was Shanghai, and since we both knew that it was coming up, we made plans for me to come to Shanghai and act as a tour guide for her and her friends for a few days. Turned out that their arrival date was almost right after my last midterm. Talk about perfect timing, huh?
So I went over to Shanghai a day before they arrived (the day after my final midterm), stayed the day in the hotel getting clean (because the bathroom at the hotel was so much better than my dorm's), and did some research on where we should go. I met them at the train station the next day, though I was a little frightened I wasn't going to be able to find them since I didn't know exactly which terminal they were coming out of. We met up, I was introduced to Carly and Rob, found something to eat, they got their money exchanged, got checked into the hotel I was staying at, got ready to go out for the night, we hit a few bars and clubs, then watched a movie. I wasn't overly satisfied with that day, so the next day, I made sure we did a lot of touristy stuff, like going up the Oriental Pearl tower (three times the size of the Space Needle for reference), going through the Bund Sightseeing Tunnel (which was about the closest I've ever felt like I was on drugs), then a few more sights, bars, and clubs. It all turned out quite well. Only thing that turned sour was I didn't have my camera for it. I'll have to steal some pictures from the others....
Anyway, that was basically it. I missed class Wednesday because I was so tired from the previous days (we didn't much sleep any of the nights), but I'm back on track now...to mess it up when I go to Beijing in the hopefully not too distant future.
And that's all I've got for now.
再见，
杜楷
Saturday, November 8, 2008
A month left
Well, a little more than a month, but really, I've been here for over three so far. The last one can feel a little less than the rest, don't you think?
As my time draws to a close, I keep thinking some of the same thoughts, and since this blog was created for the sole purpose of sharing my thoughts with the people I care for, I suppose it might be in good form to do divulge said thoughts in a tidy manner. Can't promise it'll stay tidy, though; have you ever seen my room? Can't keep it clean for more than an hour...see, I'm already veering off!
A major thing I keep thinking about is, "Was this trip worth it? Am I doing everything I wanted to do when I first set out?" To be honest, the answer feels like a big "no". When I signed up to go to China last year, part of the reason I did so was because I was feeling trapped, like I needed to change my scenery so significantly that I would "wake up" and see the world around me in a new way. I sure as heck changed the scenery, but I haven't "woken up" as I felt I would. Does this mean I was never asleep, or am I still snoozing away in life? Can't tell you. In the long run, it doesn't really matter anyway. In either case, I'm still stuck in the same boat that I was before. There was a huge part of me that didn't want to go to school last Spring quarter, and I get the feeling that'll happen again. I don't know whether I'm just ready to enter the working world or something, but school just doesn't hold the same appeal that it once did for me. I've lost some of my desire to learn, and I don't know how to get it back. Maybe some real time off; I haven't had that for awhile now. My time in China was supposed to serve as that as well, but all I've really done here is go to school, try to speak the language, and travel the city I'm living in. Sounds like American college to me. I do think one thing that'll make a big difference in this last month is I'm going to travel, regardless of whether I'll have the time in class or not. I will be so disappointed with myself if I don't go to Beijing at least once, so I'm doing it. It'll be cold as heck, but it's better than nothing. Really, I like China, but I wish I wasn't here as a student. I want to come back as a tourist one day, even if the time I'm here is significantly shorter. Heck, a shorter time might even be better.
I just think the timing of this trip was all wrong. If I had left when I first signed up, and I mean right after I signed up, within the next couple of months, I feel like this trip would have done so much more for me. I would have been in that "ready to change" state of mind and accepted everything that happened to me, good or bad, as a catalyst for that change. After working all summer, though, on a play and two jobs, which, despite my constant griping of having no free time, really were some of the best times I've had in my life, plus finally starting to feel at home in my apartment with Coran and Clair, uprooting my life for the sake of a four month trip and the rest of the consequences when I return home just doesn't make the trip seem worth it in the long run. I was...happy, I think. It's hard for me to say whether that really is how I feel, considering I don't know very many points in my life that I've been really happy. I'm not trying to vie for sympathy, I'm being genuine here. I deal with some constant parts of my personality that make life, even the good points, a little less happy, such as my constant comparison to people around me and their accomplishments versus my lack of accomplishments, my unsatisfactory love life, my addictions to certain things such as TV, video games, and movies, and other areas I can't think of right now. They all tie into me worrying whether I'm doing what I should be doing at the moment. Perhaps that's what I'm doing now as well, but, again, I can't help but think that if only I had left a couple months earlier before settling down or not gone at all, I'd be feeling better now. Don't get me wrong; I don't think this trip is a waste. I think there are many good things I can glean from it. I just...don't know what they are yet. Some of this might come as a shock to some people because I think I appear as a generally happy soul, but...ah, I don't know. Lots of things I don't know. Hopefully I'll get them figured out at some point.
Alright, I've bared my soul enough for one day. Anymore and you might start thinking I'm a random flasher on a soccer field. So, go on now; 'git!
再见，
杜楷
As my time draws to a close, I keep thinking some of the same thoughts, and since this blog was created for the sole purpose of sharing my thoughts with the people I care for, I suppose it might be in good form to do divulge said thoughts in a tidy manner. Can't promise it'll stay tidy, though; have you ever seen my room? Can't keep it clean for more than an hour...see, I'm already veering off!
A major thing I keep thinking about is, "Was this trip worth it? Am I doing everything I wanted to do when I first set out?" To be honest, the answer feels like a big "no". When I signed up to go to China last year, part of the reason I did so was because I was feeling trapped, like I needed to change my scenery so significantly that I would "wake up" and see the world around me in a new way. I sure as heck changed the scenery, but I haven't "woken up" as I felt I would. Does this mean I was never asleep, or am I still snoozing away in life? Can't tell you. In the long run, it doesn't really matter anyway. In either case, I'm still stuck in the same boat that I was before. There was a huge part of me that didn't want to go to school last Spring quarter, and I get the feeling that'll happen again. I don't know whether I'm just ready to enter the working world or something, but school just doesn't hold the same appeal that it once did for me. I've lost some of my desire to learn, and I don't know how to get it back. Maybe some real time off; I haven't had that for awhile now. My time in China was supposed to serve as that as well, but all I've really done here is go to school, try to speak the language, and travel the city I'm living in. Sounds like American college to me. I do think one thing that'll make a big difference in this last month is I'm going to travel, regardless of whether I'll have the time in class or not. I will be so disappointed with myself if I don't go to Beijing at least once, so I'm doing it. It'll be cold as heck, but it's better than nothing. Really, I like China, but I wish I wasn't here as a student. I want to come back as a tourist one day, even if the time I'm here is significantly shorter. Heck, a shorter time might even be better.
I just think the timing of this trip was all wrong. If I had left when I first signed up, and I mean right after I signed up, within the next couple of months, I feel like this trip would have done so much more for me. I would have been in that "ready to change" state of mind and accepted everything that happened to me, good or bad, as a catalyst for that change. After working all summer, though, on a play and two jobs, which, despite my constant griping of having no free time, really were some of the best times I've had in my life, plus finally starting to feel at home in my apartment with Coran and Clair, uprooting my life for the sake of a four month trip and the rest of the consequences when I return home just doesn't make the trip seem worth it in the long run. I was...happy, I think. It's hard for me to say whether that really is how I feel, considering I don't know very many points in my life that I've been really happy. I'm not trying to vie for sympathy, I'm being genuine here. I deal with some constant parts of my personality that make life, even the good points, a little less happy, such as my constant comparison to people around me and their accomplishments versus my lack of accomplishments, my unsatisfactory love life, my addictions to certain things such as TV, video games, and movies, and other areas I can't think of right now. They all tie into me worrying whether I'm doing what I should be doing at the moment. Perhaps that's what I'm doing now as well, but, again, I can't help but think that if only I had left a couple months earlier before settling down or not gone at all, I'd be feeling better now. Don't get me wrong; I don't think this trip is a waste. I think there are many good things I can glean from it. I just...don't know what they are yet. Some of this might come as a shock to some people because I think I appear as a generally happy soul, but...ah, I don't know. Lots of things I don't know. Hopefully I'll get them figured out at some point.
Alright, I've bared my soul enough for one day. Anymore and you might start thinking I'm a random flasher on a soccer field. So, go on now; 'git!
再见，
杜楷
Wednesday, November 5, 2008
Stranger Translation Thoughts
I forgot to mention, I also began thinking about the ways that English and Chinese were different...besides the obvious, I mean. Sure, one is tonal, the other isn't (and if you have to ask me to clarify which is which...I might just cry. Don't make me cry). And then there's that whole "Chinese characters versus English words" thing, which is also fairly obvious.
But for me, the hard part is often the fact that in Chinese, the same sound or sounds can mean totally different things, depending on the context. We have the similar situation in English with homonyms, but that's a small section of our language overall, really. In the majority of the English vernacular, each word is different. Per example, look at the last sentence. Does any word have a homonym? No. (And if it does, please tell me so I can feel foolish and then change this assertion...) So that's one reason the Chinese language is more difficult for English speakers, I think. Also, each sound is a word by itself in Chinese. And I don't think there's a proper parallel for that in English. We look at a word, and even if we don't understand the meaning, we can at least try to say the word. In Chinese, it's different. Almost exactly opposite. If you have a thorough understanding of the Chinese radicals, you can usually guess the meaning, but the sound...I don't know how people here determine that. Tradition, I suppose. And each sound, again, can mean so many different things! It's insanely difficult in its simplicity. 逗，都， and 豆 all have different meanings (funny, all, and bean), but all are pronounced "dou". And that's not even considering the other "dou"s that are said with other sounds to make completely different words!
I feel like it's a game where I have all the pieces (the sounds), but I don't know where to put them down to employ the best move or if I should even put them down in the first place. I'm learning the rules of the game, though, and even though I doubt very much I'll ever be a grandmaster, I certainly can hold my own against other players well enough.
Food for thought.
再见
杜楷
But for me, the hard part is often the fact that in Chinese, the same sound or sounds can mean totally different things, depending on the context. We have the similar situation in English with homonyms, but that's a small section of our language overall, really. In the majority of the English vernacular, each word is different. Per example, look at the last sentence. Does any word have a homonym? No. (And if it does, please tell me so I can feel foolish and then change this assertion...) So that's one reason the Chinese language is more difficult for English speakers, I think. Also, each sound is a word by itself in Chinese. And I don't think there's a proper parallel for that in English. We look at a word, and even if we don't understand the meaning, we can at least try to say the word. In Chinese, it's different. Almost exactly opposite. If you have a thorough understanding of the Chinese radicals, you can usually guess the meaning, but the sound...I don't know how people here determine that. Tradition, I suppose. And each sound, again, can mean so many different things! It's insanely difficult in its simplicity. 逗，都， and 豆 all have different meanings (funny, all, and bean), but all are pronounced "dou". And that's not even considering the other "dou"s that are said with other sounds to make completely different words!
I feel like it's a game where I have all the pieces (the sounds), but I don't know where to put them down to employ the best move or if I should even put them down in the first place. I'm learning the rules of the game, though, and even though I doubt very much I'll ever be a grandmaster, I certainly can hold my own against other players well enough.
Food for thought.
再见
杜楷
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
Strange Translation Thoughts
I've thought about this a lot while I've been in China. "This" being speaking Chinese. I still find it interesting that as I speak Chinese, I don't think of it directly as a "language", but rather, as a "code" of sorts. It's something that I have to decipher and figure out what the meaning is in English, even if it is just a rough interpretation. Even with nearly every person around me speaking this language, I still can't help but think in English. Does that make me worse at the language, not being able to get past this barrier? I know a lot of people do it, but do those who are fluent in other languages? I have no idea. Insights, por favor! Yes, I used Spanish. So what? If it bothers you that much, just say "fay-ver" in your mind's voice rather than "fa-vor". ;)
Also! A month and a half left! Almost there! I'll be so excited to see you all upon my return.
That's it for this very short update. I'm procrastinating on studying for midterms. Why? Because that's what I do. It's in my blood!...along with oxygen and other vital materials. But that's another subject.
再见,
杜楷
Also! A month and a half left! Almost there! I'll be so excited to see you all upon my return.
That's it for this very short update. I'm procrastinating on studying for midterms. Why? Because that's what I do. It's in my blood!...along with oxygen and other vital materials. But that's another subject.
再见,
杜楷
Monday, November 3, 2008
Daylight Savings Time
Yeah, it's going to take a little getting used to from here. I'm still on the same time as always (for those who don't know, China doesn't do the whole..."fall back, spring forward" thing), and now I've got to adjust to the Pacific Time Zone's time, which will be hard, because my math skills with subtracting or adding the right number of hours was getting pretty fast. Ah well....
In other news, I will be going to Shanghai this weekend to see a friend from Seattle University who is on a different study abroad trip. Then, later (though I don't know exactly when), I'm going to go to Beijing and spend five days there. Won't be nearly enough time, but it's better than nothing.
再见，
杜楷
In other news, I will be going to Shanghai this weekend to see a friend from Seattle University who is on a different study abroad trip. Then, later (though I don't know exactly when), I'm going to go to Beijing and spend five days there. Won't be nearly enough time, but it's better than nothing.
再见，
杜楷
Thursday, October 30, 2008
Wow...I really didn't intend to go this long without updating
But it's been kind of crazy around here recently. Don't know why exactly, beyond that midterms are upon us, but I just haven't had as much time to get on the internet and whatnot. Some thoughts have emerged though...one of which is that my computer screen seems to be flickering before my very eyes. How annoying. It already isn't as bright as it once was. Does anyone know if I can replace the backlight of a computer, or am I basically screwed if it ever decides to completely go out?
Okay, onto deeper thoughts now. Thanks, first of all, to all the people who have emailed me and whatnot since my last few blogs. It has meant a lot to keep in contact with you, and even though I'm sometimes bad myself (Keith, I promise, as soon as I'm done with this blog, I will email you back!), the extra effort lets me know that I'm cared for. Not that I have to have confirmation of that all the time, but every once in awhile is nice. In one of those emails, it was brought to my attention that I haven't really discussed friendships on here. I did not realize that, so I will talk about it a little bit.
To be honest, it's hard to develop friendships with strictly Chinese people here. I don't go to class with them (our classes are almost entirely international students, so everything from Korean to Japanese to German to Swedish to Mexican to Australian to Russian and so on), and if you know me *at all*, you know that I'm not the most socially outgoing person, especially when I'm uncomfortable (and what's more uncomfortable than not being able to understand what people are saying?). But I have made some through other people, which is nice. It's also nice to make friends with the other international students since, for the most part, the only common language that we speak is Chinese, so we are forced to speak that to each other. It doesn't always work as we don't all know the same vocabulary, but more often than not, we understand each other.
Also! The same person asked me about food. Again, if you know me, I'm a picky eater. I always have been. I don't always want to be, but my thoughts on food are, "Why buy something that you don't know if you are going to like or not? If you don't like it and nobody else wants it, it's a waste of resources and a waste of money." So, naturally, I came to China a bit apprehensive about the food situation. But you know what? I'm not as picky of an eater anymore. Sure, I still won't eat fish (ask me if you wanna know the story behind that), but I am far more willing to eat other dishes now. Still not a big fan of soups and other hot liquids, though; I really can't figure that one out, but every time I get a soup, I barely touch it. Ah well, at least other areas are far better now. I still fall into the habit of eating things I like, but at least they are now *different* things. So fear not, people of America! I will return, and I will still eat pizza like a Ninja Turtle and Doritos like a...person who really likes Doritos. But I will also want to go out for odd cuisine more often than in the past.
For a slightly more somber tone, I have been thinking about something. As in nearly every area of the world, there are beggars on the streets here in China and specifically where I am in Suzhou. All my life, I've had to have a somewhat indifferent attitude toward people asking me for money because either a) I didn't have enough money myself, so if I give it away, then I could be in trouble or b) I question their motives behind asking for money and their true intent in what they will use it for. A compromise I've made with myself is if I have leftovers from a restaurant and I see a homeless person, I will offer them my leftovers. If they take it, great; if not, then I know they want money to use for things other than food, like drugs or alcohol. I have no problem giving money to buskers because they are entertaining me and if I like it, why shouldn't I give them some money? Heck, I've bought CDs from buskers before! They aren't necessarily homeless, but I hope you understand the distinction that I'm making.
The other day, though, I was walking to a local street food vendor area around my university, and I came across a man begging for money. He had his little silver dish out filled with some small Chinese coins. The thing about this particular beggar, though, and indeed, quite a few of the beggars in China, was how he was begging. He was prostrate on the ground, and his head was completely down to the street. Instantly, I felt so bad for him. In China, there could be no worse position for him to be in. That was a bowing position that was normally reserved for emperors and people of high society, and here he was, giving it to anyone walking by. He had lost all of his honor, in other words; everyone was better than him. My heart went out to this man, but my natural reaction of "don't give him money" also emerged. How horrible is that? All this man was asking for was a few Chinese dollars, which are 1/6th of a normal U.S. dollar, and I thought about not giving him anything? I can't give every person money; I know that. But I could certainly spare a few yuan for this man here. And after I bought some food and had more smaller coins (all I had passing him the first time was 100 yuan bills, and I'm not willing to give that to anyone, thank you very much), I gave him around 5 yuan.
Why do we make ourselves like this? Not the beggars; I think we have a good idea of what causes that for the most part (poor economy, bad life choices, and so on). But why do we, the ones who have the money, make ourselves uncaring to those who need our help? Some of us don't, but the majority of us build those defense mechanisms like my own. Why? Is it survival of the fittest? Is it selfishness? Some combination between the two? Something entirely different? I don't know; I haven't figured it out. I don't even know if, when I return to the US, I'll change how I view the homeless there and do more to make their lives better. I still believe that for the majority of the time, people can make their own lives better and shouldn't need the help of other people. But there are exceptions to every case, and this is no different. Will I be willing to split the difference, then, and try to make good choices depending on the situation? I have no idea.
This is the end of my thoughts for now.
再见，
杜楷
Okay, onto deeper thoughts now. Thanks, first of all, to all the people who have emailed me and whatnot since my last few blogs. It has meant a lot to keep in contact with you, and even though I'm sometimes bad myself (Keith, I promise, as soon as I'm done with this blog, I will email you back!), the extra effort lets me know that I'm cared for. Not that I have to have confirmation of that all the time, but every once in awhile is nice. In one of those emails, it was brought to my attention that I haven't really discussed friendships on here. I did not realize that, so I will talk about it a little bit.
To be honest, it's hard to develop friendships with strictly Chinese people here. I don't go to class with them (our classes are almost entirely international students, so everything from Korean to Japanese to German to Swedish to Mexican to Australian to Russian and so on), and if you know me *at all*, you know that I'm not the most socially outgoing person, especially when I'm uncomfortable (and what's more uncomfortable than not being able to understand what people are saying?). But I have made some through other people, which is nice. It's also nice to make friends with the other international students since, for the most part, the only common language that we speak is Chinese, so we are forced to speak that to each other. It doesn't always work as we don't all know the same vocabulary, but more often than not, we understand each other.
Also! The same person asked me about food. Again, if you know me, I'm a picky eater. I always have been. I don't always want to be, but my thoughts on food are, "Why buy something that you don't know if you are going to like or not? If you don't like it and nobody else wants it, it's a waste of resources and a waste of money." So, naturally, I came to China a bit apprehensive about the food situation. But you know what? I'm not as picky of an eater anymore. Sure, I still won't eat fish (ask me if you wanna know the story behind that), but I am far more willing to eat other dishes now. Still not a big fan of soups and other hot liquids, though; I really can't figure that one out, but every time I get a soup, I barely touch it. Ah well, at least other areas are far better now. I still fall into the habit of eating things I like, but at least they are now *different* things. So fear not, people of America! I will return, and I will still eat pizza like a Ninja Turtle and Doritos like a...person who really likes Doritos. But I will also want to go out for odd cuisine more often than in the past.
For a slightly more somber tone, I have been thinking about something. As in nearly every area of the world, there are beggars on the streets here in China and specifically where I am in Suzhou. All my life, I've had to have a somewhat indifferent attitude toward people asking me for money because either a) I didn't have enough money myself, so if I give it away, then I could be in trouble or b) I question their motives behind asking for money and their true intent in what they will use it for. A compromise I've made with myself is if I have leftovers from a restaurant and I see a homeless person, I will offer them my leftovers. If they take it, great; if not, then I know they want money to use for things other than food, like drugs or alcohol. I have no problem giving money to buskers because they are entertaining me and if I like it, why shouldn't I give them some money? Heck, I've bought CDs from buskers before! They aren't necessarily homeless, but I hope you understand the distinction that I'm making.
The other day, though, I was walking to a local street food vendor area around my university, and I came across a man begging for money. He had his little silver dish out filled with some small Chinese coins. The thing about this particular beggar, though, and indeed, quite a few of the beggars in China, was how he was begging. He was prostrate on the ground, and his head was completely down to the street. Instantly, I felt so bad for him. In China, there could be no worse position for him to be in. That was a bowing position that was normally reserved for emperors and people of high society, and here he was, giving it to anyone walking by. He had lost all of his honor, in other words; everyone was better than him. My heart went out to this man, but my natural reaction of "don't give him money" also emerged. How horrible is that? All this man was asking for was a few Chinese dollars, which are 1/6th of a normal U.S. dollar, and I thought about not giving him anything? I can't give every person money; I know that. But I could certainly spare a few yuan for this man here. And after I bought some food and had more smaller coins (all I had passing him the first time was 100 yuan bills, and I'm not willing to give that to anyone, thank you very much), I gave him around 5 yuan.
Why do we make ourselves like this? Not the beggars; I think we have a good idea of what causes that for the most part (poor economy, bad life choices, and so on). But why do we, the ones who have the money, make ourselves uncaring to those who need our help? Some of us don't, but the majority of us build those defense mechanisms like my own. Why? Is it survival of the fittest? Is it selfishness? Some combination between the two? Something entirely different? I don't know; I haven't figured it out. I don't even know if, when I return to the US, I'll change how I view the homeless there and do more to make their lives better. I still believe that for the majority of the time, people can make their own lives better and shouldn't need the help of other people. But there are exceptions to every case, and this is no different. Will I be willing to split the difference, then, and try to make good choices depending on the situation? I have no idea.
This is the end of my thoughts for now.
再见，
杜楷
Monday, October 20, 2008
Random thoughts for the day
-My hair is getting quite long...and I like it. Let's see how long it can get before I get frustrated.
-I sometimes envy smokers for two reasons. One is their instant connection to other smokers in social situations. To me, it seems like they can make friends quite easily. The other is that it seems to give them a way to relax and let loose in a very non-demanding way. There are times where I'm really anxious to be doing something, yet have nothing to release said tension. I still refuse to smoke, though.
-I feel the need for change. Change in how I look (part of that is the hair thing), change in some of my habits, and change in my demeanor and interaction with others. I'm discovering some of "my" style in terms of clothes, so I'll continue to experiment with that over time. Kinda want to dye my hair different shades (nothing too extreme), but I'll do some research on that before I make any solid decision on that. I feel so vain, worrying about how I look, but y'know, it does make a difference in how you feel. One of the reasons I appreciate Halloween; I can put a lot of work into how I look for a night, and it actually DOES come out as nice. As opposed to my every day look. One day I'll find a good combo of the two. Habits...whew. I've realized in my time without television, even TV on DVD, how much I really do enjoy that world. And I don't think there's anything wrong with it. But I've built up a state of being around it to the point where if I don't have anything to do, my mind instantly wants to watch television. Now, here, without it...I'm kind of lost. So I need to find things to replace it with. Writing would be good. Really wish I would get in the habit of carrying around my idea notebook with me wherever I go. I also want to get into the habit of exercising when I get back. It's something I've been meaning to do for years. Hopefully, I'll finally do it upon my return. Probably need to take a class to get me in the habit, but I'm fine with that. Can't really do it in China; all the gyms are closed to everyone but the people who need them for classes. Drat. Change in demeanor...that one is going to be the hardest. But I think it'll come naturally with the realization of the other two. It's all a confidence thing. I'm a little self-conscious. Have been my whole life. I'm just usually really good at hiding it (or at least, I think so). Despite not caring what other people think for the most part, I still care about my body and how it looks and how it operates. If I can get those parts feeling better, maybe the rest of it will fall into place.
Umm...I think that's it for now. Really, this does have to do with China; I'm having all these thoughts because I'm in China and I have the time to have these thoughts. So...yeah. Self discovery, WHOO!
杜楷
-I sometimes envy smokers for two reasons. One is their instant connection to other smokers in social situations. To me, it seems like they can make friends quite easily. The other is that it seems to give them a way to relax and let loose in a very non-demanding way. There are times where I'm really anxious to be doing something, yet have nothing to release said tension. I still refuse to smoke, though.
-I feel the need for change. Change in how I look (part of that is the hair thing), change in some of my habits, and change in my demeanor and interaction with others. I'm discovering some of "my" style in terms of clothes, so I'll continue to experiment with that over time. Kinda want to dye my hair different shades (nothing too extreme), but I'll do some research on that before I make any solid decision on that. I feel so vain, worrying about how I look, but y'know, it does make a difference in how you feel. One of the reasons I appreciate Halloween; I can put a lot of work into how I look for a night, and it actually DOES come out as nice. As opposed to my every day look. One day I'll find a good combo of the two. Habits...whew. I've realized in my time without television, even TV on DVD, how much I really do enjoy that world. And I don't think there's anything wrong with it. But I've built up a state of being around it to the point where if I don't have anything to do, my mind instantly wants to watch television. Now, here, without it...I'm kind of lost. So I need to find things to replace it with. Writing would be good. Really wish I would get in the habit of carrying around my idea notebook with me wherever I go. I also want to get into the habit of exercising when I get back. It's something I've been meaning to do for years. Hopefully, I'll finally do it upon my return. Probably need to take a class to get me in the habit, but I'm fine with that. Can't really do it in China; all the gyms are closed to everyone but the people who need them for classes. Drat. Change in demeanor...that one is going to be the hardest. But I think it'll come naturally with the realization of the other two. It's all a confidence thing. I'm a little self-conscious. Have been my whole life. I'm just usually really good at hiding it (or at least, I think so). Despite not caring what other people think for the most part, I still care about my body and how it looks and how it operates. If I can get those parts feeling better, maybe the rest of it will fall into place.
Umm...I think that's it for now. Really, this does have to do with China; I'm having all these thoughts because I'm in China and I have the time to have these thoughts. So...yeah. Self discovery, WHOO!
杜楷
Thursday, October 16, 2008
I promised myself that I was going to write today
But now I'm having trouble thinking of all the things I was going to say. Crap...at times like this, I wish I could forgo class and just write in my journal. Ah vell...I'll do the best I can.
So one thing that's been on my mind is writing. I feel like I haven't done as much creative writing as I should, long before I even thought of coming to China. "Age of Thieves" has been more than stagnant, despite the fact that I still do want to finish that story. I haven't been inspired to write an original story in a long time, and I'm not one of those people that can just sit down and force out writing. I don't know if that makes me a worse writer, but that's just the way I work. I have to be inspired by something, anything. Perhaps that's why I'm stuck in AoT; I'm inspired by certain areas, but getting to those areas is really difficult. The ending, though, will blow everyone's minds...or so I hope.
I do think this trip is helping, though; I seem to be finding inspiration in stranger places. For example, has anyone here heard of sleep paralysis? *listens to the silence of the internet* I'll take that as a "no" for now. Apparently, it's this condition that either right before you go to sleep or right before you wake up, your mind is still conscious, but your body is in a dream-like state. Your brain freezes your body when you dream about doing some sort of physical activity, such as running, so you won't injure yourself. So your body is frozen, but your mind is very much aware of the world and aware of the fact that you can't move anything. Your breathing is shallow, your limbs won't move, and even your heart is slower, and you can feel it ALL. It really is one of the only times that most people get an idea of what it is like to be completely paralyzed, and apparently, it's actually pretty common. Nearly every culture across the world is aware of it, and most have named it something along the lines of "being possessed by the devil". So most cultures have had the same fear of it and usually relate it to a ghost or devil controlling your body. This fear is also fueled by the fact that sometimes, the mind can still be dreaming, and since you are awake but can't move, it creates a "demon" that is sitting on your chest that you think you can see.
How did I find out about this? Well, two days ago, I went to my friend's room to wake him up before class, but he never responded. I thought that he was merely tired, so I went to class. When I got back, I checked in on him. He was freaked out because he had heard me knock on his door but he was under the influence of the sleep paralysis and couldn't do anything. Eventually, he passed back out and woke up mere minutes before I came to his room again.
So while I was frightened about what happened to my friend, I must admit, the idea of this condition that happens all across the world inspired me. I'm starting a story in which a woman has a vision about the end of the world during a bout of sleep paralysis and her subsequent task of trying to prevent it. I don't know that I would have thought of that before coming on this trip. So...there you go.
Another thing I've been thinking about. I believe I'm finally...comfortable here. I'm not fluent in any way, shape, or form, but I feel like I know the area around me pretty well and could easily live here for a long time without many problems. Of course, this feeling seems rather odd to me when coupled with the dreams that I seem to have weekly about returning back to the States. At least my bed finally feels like MY bed (even if it is just basically a slab of wood...dang you, Clair, and making me extremely used to extreme comfort in the form of a Serta mattress! I miss it so!).
Um, and yeah. I think that's pretty much it. Oh, except for this: with the exception of Doki, Clair, Kalen, and people I talk to through Skype most of the people who read this blog STINK at sending me emails or messages! I'm serious! I ask questions, I get no response. I say, "Hey, who wants to start a band when I get back?" Nothing. Can't you tell that I want to talk with you people!? I miss you guys and love you very much, but when I don't get any kind of response, it makes me feel sad. Why you want to make me sad?!
Alright, I'm done for now. Whew, that was a lot of things despite not knowing what to say. Talk to all of you later...hopefully. *glares at those who don't talk to me* Yeah, you know who you are...
再见！
杜楷
So one thing that's been on my mind is writing. I feel like I haven't done as much creative writing as I should, long before I even thought of coming to China. "Age of Thieves" has been more than stagnant, despite the fact that I still do want to finish that story. I haven't been inspired to write an original story in a long time, and I'm not one of those people that can just sit down and force out writing. I don't know if that makes me a worse writer, but that's just the way I work. I have to be inspired by something, anything. Perhaps that's why I'm stuck in AoT; I'm inspired by certain areas, but getting to those areas is really difficult. The ending, though, will blow everyone's minds...or so I hope.
I do think this trip is helping, though; I seem to be finding inspiration in stranger places. For example, has anyone here heard of sleep paralysis? *listens to the silence of the internet* I'll take that as a "no" for now. Apparently, it's this condition that either right before you go to sleep or right before you wake up, your mind is still conscious, but your body is in a dream-like state. Your brain freezes your body when you dream about doing some sort of physical activity, such as running, so you won't injure yourself. So your body is frozen, but your mind is very much aware of the world and aware of the fact that you can't move anything. Your breathing is shallow, your limbs won't move, and even your heart is slower, and you can feel it ALL. It really is one of the only times that most people get an idea of what it is like to be completely paralyzed, and apparently, it's actually pretty common. Nearly every culture across the world is aware of it, and most have named it something along the lines of "being possessed by the devil". So most cultures have had the same fear of it and usually relate it to a ghost or devil controlling your body. This fear is also fueled by the fact that sometimes, the mind can still be dreaming, and since you are awake but can't move, it creates a "demon" that is sitting on your chest that you think you can see.
How did I find out about this? Well, two days ago, I went to my friend's room to wake him up before class, but he never responded. I thought that he was merely tired, so I went to class. When I got back, I checked in on him. He was freaked out because he had heard me knock on his door but he was under the influence of the sleep paralysis and couldn't do anything. Eventually, he passed back out and woke up mere minutes before I came to his room again.
So while I was frightened about what happened to my friend, I must admit, the idea of this condition that happens all across the world inspired me. I'm starting a story in which a woman has a vision about the end of the world during a bout of sleep paralysis and her subsequent task of trying to prevent it. I don't know that I would have thought of that before coming on this trip. So...there you go.
Another thing I've been thinking about. I believe I'm finally...comfortable here. I'm not fluent in any way, shape, or form, but I feel like I know the area around me pretty well and could easily live here for a long time without many problems. Of course, this feeling seems rather odd to me when coupled with the dreams that I seem to have weekly about returning back to the States. At least my bed finally feels like MY bed (even if it is just basically a slab of wood...dang you, Clair, and making me extremely used to extreme comfort in the form of a Serta mattress! I miss it so!).
Um, and yeah. I think that's pretty much it. Oh, except for this: with the exception of Doki, Clair, Kalen, and people I talk to through Skype most of the people who read this blog STINK at sending me emails or messages! I'm serious! I ask questions, I get no response. I say, "Hey, who wants to start a band when I get back?" Nothing. Can't you tell that I want to talk with you people!? I miss you guys and love you very much, but when I don't get any kind of response, it makes me feel sad. Why you want to make me sad?!
Alright, I'm done for now. Whew, that was a lot of things despite not knowing what to say. Talk to all of you later...hopefully. *glares at those who don't talk to me* Yeah, you know who you are...
再见！
杜楷
Sunday, October 12, 2008
Adventures in Sicky Land!
So, yes, as indicated in my last blog, I was feeling sick little over half a week ago, and in an attempt to feel better, I decided to not go to class.
What I didn't realize was that that was the beginning of a many day venture in not feeling well.
I didn't go to class from last Wednesday until the end of the week, and even yesterday and today (today being Sunday, I didn't feel great. I've just been trying to sleep it off, eat some fruit, and getting as much medicine in my system as I trust in this country.
So naturally, today I actually feel pretty good all around, and guess what? Tomorrow's Monday! Which means I've tried (key word: tried) to study all day in an attempt to catch up.
Funny thing is, I'm not that nervous. I know mid-terms are coming up, and I know I'm a little behind now. But all I can say is, "Que sera, sera" and move forward.
In other news, I've decided that I will do something very big upon my return to Seattle. I'm going to start playing music again. That's right, Mr. Viola is going to pick up his instrument and start playing again. This time, though, I'm gonna do something a little bit different. I like to call it...joining a band. No orchestra (though it may be fun to do on the side), and I think I'll avoid classical for at least a little bit. I want to play music in a more indie-rock style. To that end, I think I'm also going to learn two other instruments. One is the cello, which, honestly, if I hadn't been a viola player, I most likely would have been a cellist. And the other is far more conventional rock: the bass guitar.
So I'm going to be on the lookout for music stores (both selling and rental, depending on prices) for instruments, and teachers to help me learn to play the new instruments/learn to play the viola better. I also want to start figuring out how to create music. Maybe I should just be a lyricist...but no. This is about pushing my boundaries a bit.
Anyway, if anyone has any thoughts on any of this, please comment or email me with your info. I might also look into picking up an erhu while in China...that would be a very unique sound for a rock band...
再见！
杜楷
What I didn't realize was that that was the beginning of a many day venture in not feeling well.
I didn't go to class from last Wednesday until the end of the week, and even yesterday and today (today being Sunday, I didn't feel great. I've just been trying to sleep it off, eat some fruit, and getting as much medicine in my system as I trust in this country.
So naturally, today I actually feel pretty good all around, and guess what? Tomorrow's Monday! Which means I've tried (key word: tried) to study all day in an attempt to catch up.
Funny thing is, I'm not that nervous. I know mid-terms are coming up, and I know I'm a little behind now. But all I can say is, "Que sera, sera" and move forward.
In other news, I've decided that I will do something very big upon my return to Seattle. I'm going to start playing music again. That's right, Mr. Viola is going to pick up his instrument and start playing again. This time, though, I'm gonna do something a little bit different. I like to call it...joining a band. No orchestra (though it may be fun to do on the side), and I think I'll avoid classical for at least a little bit. I want to play music in a more indie-rock style. To that end, I think I'm also going to learn two other instruments. One is the cello, which, honestly, if I hadn't been a viola player, I most likely would have been a cellist. And the other is far more conventional rock: the bass guitar.
So I'm going to be on the lookout for music stores (both selling and rental, depending on prices) for instruments, and teachers to help me learn to play the new instruments/learn to play the viola better. I also want to start figuring out how to create music. Maybe I should just be a lyricist...but no. This is about pushing my boundaries a bit.
Anyway, if anyone has any thoughts on any of this, please comment or email me with your info. I might also look into picking up an erhu while in China...that would be a very unique sound for a rock band...
再见！
杜楷
Tuesday, October 7, 2008
"Like a big black shiny bug"
Note to the two of you who will get the reference in the title of this blog: Hi Keith! Hi Mom! If any others get it, more power to you, but I'm not expecting it, so no worries.
Today, I felt sick when I woke up. The worst part is, there were so many SIGNS that I was getting sick that if I'd just paid attention to them, I could have attacked the illness before it got its hooks in me. I won't divulge what those signs were to the general populous for the sake of your own health, but needless to say, I feel really stupid. I think since I can't really buy a whole lot of medicine here (or if I can, I don't know how to go about it), I'm going to take tomorrow off from school. I need to take care of myself first and foremost. 'Sides, I learned the lesson last year that if I don't take some mental days when I can, I go nuts.
Yeah, I'm starting to feel like I don't want to be here again. I can't help it; after the week in Shanghai, I really just want to go cruise around China instead of being stuck in Suzhou five days a week, trying to study off and on, getting more and more sick. I suppose part of that is I didn't really get a summer vacation this year, so the time off made me a little wander-lustful. Of course, it could also be that I'm getting SICK, so...y'know. It just stinks that in my mind, I'm always counting down the days until my return. I should be enjoying this time, shouldn't I? I don't know anymore. I mean, I really don't know. Why did I come on this trip? Gah!
I need to start doing more things that require the use of my mind. Like writing. Dear me, do I still call myself a writer? I haven't written anything besides what's on this blog for the last year or so. What's wrong with me? Grr...anger at self time...
There are certain things I miss. I miss having my old roomie Matthew and his never-ending supply of awesome music at hand. Matthew, if you read this, can we start a band when I get back? I'm serious. I'll rent a viola (or cello: I'm thinking of learning how to play that as well) if I have to; I want to play music again. Coran and Clair, you guys are great. Thanks for everything including finding the place that I can call home when I get back from China. I miss my oddly shaped apartment and room. My IMAX friends, miss you guys as well. CAC staff, I really miss you, especially since I know I won't be working there again when I get back. My family, though that goes without saying on here, since they should know from our conversations and email correspondence. All my SU friends and other, non-college friends. Seattle, I REALLY miss you. You'll still have a place for me when I get back, right?
I should go get some sleep. I'm not going to class tomorrow, I've already made my decision. I can miss one day; it won't kill me.
我想家
再见
杜楷
Today, I felt sick when I woke up. The worst part is, there were so many SIGNS that I was getting sick that if I'd just paid attention to them, I could have attacked the illness before it got its hooks in me. I won't divulge what those signs were to the general populous for the sake of your own health, but needless to say, I feel really stupid. I think since I can't really buy a whole lot of medicine here (or if I can, I don't know how to go about it), I'm going to take tomorrow off from school. I need to take care of myself first and foremost. 'Sides, I learned the lesson last year that if I don't take some mental days when I can, I go nuts.
Yeah, I'm starting to feel like I don't want to be here again. I can't help it; after the week in Shanghai, I really just want to go cruise around China instead of being stuck in Suzhou five days a week, trying to study off and on, getting more and more sick. I suppose part of that is I didn't really get a summer vacation this year, so the time off made me a little wander-lustful. Of course, it could also be that I'm getting SICK, so...y'know. It just stinks that in my mind, I'm always counting down the days until my return. I should be enjoying this time, shouldn't I? I don't know anymore. I mean, I really don't know. Why did I come on this trip? Gah!
I need to start doing more things that require the use of my mind. Like writing. Dear me, do I still call myself a writer? I haven't written anything besides what's on this blog for the last year or so. What's wrong with me? Grr...anger at self time...
There are certain things I miss. I miss having my old roomie Matthew and his never-ending supply of awesome music at hand. Matthew, if you read this, can we start a band when I get back? I'm serious. I'll rent a viola (or cello: I'm thinking of learning how to play that as well) if I have to; I want to play music again. Coran and Clair, you guys are great. Thanks for everything including finding the place that I can call home when I get back from China. I miss my oddly shaped apartment and room. My IMAX friends, miss you guys as well. CAC staff, I really miss you, especially since I know I won't be working there again when I get back. My family, though that goes without saying on here, since they should know from our conversations and email correspondence. All my SU friends and other, non-college friends. Seattle, I REALLY miss you. You'll still have a place for me when I get back, right?
I should go get some sleep. I'm not going to class tomorrow, I've already made my decision. I can miss one day; it won't kill me.
我想家
再见
杜楷
Saturday, October 4, 2008
Week in Shanghai
Wow...okay, so, I don't really know what to talk about this last week because it was so CRAZY. We just got back from living it up in Shanghai for the last 5 or 6 days, and man, it was GREAT! Well, most of it was. The parts where we knew we had a hotel to crash at and were close to the Nanjing Road were awesome. The times where we walked all day trying to find "cheap" hotels (my sarcastic quotation marks are there because even staying right next to Nanjing Road, the area with the most to do and the easiest to go elsewhere was really cheap) was not so great because a) we walked literally ALL day, which caused much foot pain and b) when we did finally find such a hotel, it was out in the middle of nowhere and it had cockroaches. Yeah...that was worth it...
Again, to be honest, I don't really know what to say about this last week. We went to several different clubs, got hit on by Chinese girls, went shopping (I got some really nice clothes for very cheap!), ate at a lot of different places, saw some amazing sights, and basically, I still didn't do everything I wanted to do. I'm going back; there's no question of that. And next time, it won't be in the middle of a national holiday, so it probably will be quite a bit cheaper!
A nice couple of things that I've thought about:
-I really liked Shanghai partially because sometimes, it really felt like the US. I know, I know; I'm over here for the multi-cultural experience. But dangit, I miss home. I think I will the whole time I'm here. So it was nice to sort of feel like I was back in the US, or at least, a portion of China that could somewhat imitate parts of the US. Nanjing Road: both similar and different from New York's Times Square.
-I'm now a lot more confident in my Chinese. I don't know why; I didn't always have to use it. But I think finally being really on my own ("my own" meaning myself, Charlie, and Tyler), without a guide who spoke Chinese and could translate for me, forced me to be more outgoing, which was good!
-I like going to clubs. I thought I probably would back in the States, but I never really got the chance to go there. Shanghai clubs are fun, and I know when to stop drinking enough. I'm a responsible drinker; I knew I would be.
Okay, I think I'm done for now. I've still got to unwind for a bit.
By the way, I'm very disappointed in you people. Very few messages from you guys for me to come home to. Sheesh...way to make a guy feel unloved. Nah, just kidding! I didn't really expect to hear from a lot of people. But do give me a message every so often, alright? This goes to everyone. I want to hear how you are doing. I miss you all terribly, just so you know.
Okay, seriously, bye!
再见！
杜楷
Again, to be honest, I don't really know what to say about this last week. We went to several different clubs, got hit on by Chinese girls, went shopping (I got some really nice clothes for very cheap!), ate at a lot of different places, saw some amazing sights, and basically, I still didn't do everything I wanted to do. I'm going back; there's no question of that. And next time, it won't be in the middle of a national holiday, so it probably will be quite a bit cheaper!
A nice couple of things that I've thought about:
-I really liked Shanghai partially because sometimes, it really felt like the US. I know, I know; I'm over here for the multi-cultural experience. But dangit, I miss home. I think I will the whole time I'm here. So it was nice to sort of feel like I was back in the US, or at least, a portion of China that could somewhat imitate parts of the US. Nanjing Road: both similar and different from New York's Times Square.
-I'm now a lot more confident in my Chinese. I don't know why; I didn't always have to use it. But I think finally being really on my own ("my own" meaning myself, Charlie, and Tyler), without a guide who spoke Chinese and could translate for me, forced me to be more outgoing, which was good!
-I like going to clubs. I thought I probably would back in the States, but I never really got the chance to go there. Shanghai clubs are fun, and I know when to stop drinking enough. I'm a responsible drinker; I knew I would be.
Okay, I think I'm done for now. I've still got to unwind for a bit.
By the way, I'm very disappointed in you people. Very few messages from you guys for me to come home to. Sheesh...way to make a guy feel unloved. Nah, just kidding! I didn't really expect to hear from a lot of people. But do give me a message every so often, alright? This goes to everyone. I want to hear how you are doing. I miss you all terribly, just so you know.
Okay, seriously, bye!
再见！
杜楷
Sunday, September 28, 2008
Shanghai Trip! Woo!
So I'm going to Shanghai for the next week or so. A little less than that, but yeah, until next Sunday at the latest, I'll be offline (subtract 15 hours for you Pacific Time Zone States people, so that means Saturday actually), so be sure to send me lots and lots of messages for when I come back to read.
Also, can someone tell me when Daylight Savings Time happens? I'm really not sure, but I wanna know so I can adjust accordingly here for phone calls, etc.
Talk to you all soon!
再见
杜楷
Also, can someone tell me when Daylight Savings Time happens? I'm really not sure, but I wanna know so I can adjust accordingly here for phone calls, etc.
Talk to you all soon!
再见
杜楷
Thursday, September 25, 2008
Not sure who else cares, but...
AHHHH!! I just found out that Chrono Trigger DS is coming out November 25th in the States! This is a re-release of one of my favorite games ever! I'm so freaking excited right now! I thought it was going to be late January or so when it came out. Glee!
Plus, there might be an announcement of a sequel to Skies of Arcadia, another one of my favorite games (and one of most under-appreciated RPGs of all time).
Add on that Video Games Live! in January...and this is a good year for video games for me. I am happy. :)
Plus, there might be an announcement of a sequel to Skies of Arcadia, another one of my favorite games (and one of most under-appreciated RPGs of all time).
Add on that Video Games Live! in January...and this is a good year for video games for me. I am happy. :)
Groups
One thing that I've realized on this trip: I don't like groups. I generally was aware of this fact about myself previous to this trip, but it really hit home during these first couple of weeks. And let me be clear on one thing; I'm not talking about a small group ("small" being defined as two or three people). I'm talking when you have over five people that you have to worry about what they want, when they want it, and what all they are doing. Because I just don't function like that. I like to make decisions NOW, do things quickly, and not waste anytime. Of course, I'm such a nice guy, I try and go along with the group...but really, how long does it take for us to decide where to eat? And there have been a couple of scary moments too: one time in a grocery store, my shopping cart was the catch-all shopping cart for a few people, which wouldn't have been a problem, except I was starting to run low on energy and I felt like I was going to faint unless I got something, ANYTHING to eat, but I couldn't leave because I couldn't find the other people who had their stuff in my cart. A few of my friends can tell you, I was getting mad. So yeah, I like doing things with a few people or by myself. I think it works best in the end.
Enough of the complaining! Cool thing for next week: going to Shanghai! It's kind of a week long national holiday, and today, I bought tickets for myself, Charlie, and Tyler to head off to Shanghai Monday morning. We'll need to either make hotel reservations in advance or at least look up what's there prior to going, but we're going to spend a couple of days in the area, shopping, doing the tourist thing, and possibly going outside of the city as well. We don't know right now, and you know what? That is a-okay with me. It'll be an adventure! (But no, don't worry; I'll find out where to stay before leaving. I'm not that idiotic...)
Um, let's see...other stuff. Classes are going well, even if I don't necessarily want to be going to them (I'm very sleepy, and getting up at 7 every day for classes is starting to wear thin). I'm getting more and less adventurous with my Chinese, depending on the situation. Hardest part is understanding what other people are saying fast enough to come up with a proper response. I finished Angel (Smile Time is still one of my favorite episodes...if you don't know the show, you should watch it), and I'm missing my other DVDs. One of the things to look forward to when I come back, I suppose. Oh yeah, I'm definitely looking forward to coming back. I haven't fallen "in love" with China yet, regardless of what some people told me. I'm just too invested back in the States, I suppose. I had really bad heartburn for a long time, didn't put it on this blog because I didn't want people to worry, and I'm feeling better now! So see, I can take care of myself. :) And...I think that's it. Any questions, comments, and so on will be forwarded to my secretary, thank you, have a good night!...or day, or whatever the heck it is where you guys are. I'm off!
再见！
杜楷
Enough of the complaining! Cool thing for next week: going to Shanghai! It's kind of a week long national holiday, and today, I bought tickets for myself, Charlie, and Tyler to head off to Shanghai Monday morning. We'll need to either make hotel reservations in advance or at least look up what's there prior to going, but we're going to spend a couple of days in the area, shopping, doing the tourist thing, and possibly going outside of the city as well. We don't know right now, and you know what? That is a-okay with me. It'll be an adventure! (But no, don't worry; I'll find out where to stay before leaving. I'm not that idiotic...)
Um, let's see...other stuff. Classes are going well, even if I don't necessarily want to be going to them (I'm very sleepy, and getting up at 7 every day for classes is starting to wear thin). I'm getting more and less adventurous with my Chinese, depending on the situation. Hardest part is understanding what other people are saying fast enough to come up with a proper response. I finished Angel (Smile Time is still one of my favorite episodes...if you don't know the show, you should watch it), and I'm missing my other DVDs. One of the things to look forward to when I come back, I suppose. Oh yeah, I'm definitely looking forward to coming back. I haven't fallen "in love" with China yet, regardless of what some people told me. I'm just too invested back in the States, I suppose. I had really bad heartburn for a long time, didn't put it on this blog because I didn't want people to worry, and I'm feeling better now! So see, I can take care of myself. :) And...I think that's it. Any questions, comments, and so on will be forwarded to my secretary, thank you, have a good night!...or day, or whatever the heck it is where you guys are. I'm off!
再见！
杜楷
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
Walk-about
It was strange. Today, I just got the urge to go walk around the area without anyone else. I haven't gone walking without a purpose for a long time. Even "hanging out" serves its own purpose. Today, though, I wanted to walk. Granted, I could have thought it out before going out with long jeans in hot, humid weather, but all in all, I really did enjoy just walking around. Maybe I need to do that more often. Of course, if I do it more often, then it becomes "with a purpose" again...drat. And if you are expecting some large report about something AMAZING I saw, you'll be waiting awhile. Nothing special about it except it made me feel good. Plus, it was nice to be alone in China. Every other time I've gone out, I've been with a group. This was my first time I ventured out without a chaperone, and I think it was worth it.
Until next time!
再见！
杜楷
Until next time!
再见！
杜楷
Saturday, September 20, 2008
Wow...today was full of stuff
I'm still trying to take it all in. What it started as was some of my friends from my classes asked me if I wanted to join them in a tour around parts of Suzhou with some Chinese students learning to speak English, and rather than the usual "no" that I might give after a long week of studying, I said yes. I'm in China, right? Have to try new stuff. So this morning, instead of sleeping in, I got up, got showered, and started the day by going to a beautiful (and by "beautiful", I mean gorgeous) garden. It was so pretty, and I forgot my bleedin' camera! Luckily, one of my friends said they didn't like to take photos so they let me borrow the camera...mwahahaha...
After that, we went to another portion of Suzhou where we first ate some food (which managed to squirt hot liquid at me not once, but twice! First time was my fault, second time was the fault of the person next to me...it was really funny. =] ), then went on a bit of a walk-around through some smaller shops and whatnot. It wasn't like the historic town we went to previously, but that was kind of nice.
Around 4, we returned to Suzhou University (I refuse to write "Soochow"...dangit, I just did!) where we got cooled off for a bit...before going out to go dancing! Unfortunately, the dancing was a bit of a bust: they merely presented the type of dancing we could do IF we signed up for the class. I still plan on going tomorrow, though; it's the first day of Salsa, and if I don't like it, it won't cost me a thing. I like things that don't cost me anything. =]
Finally, I helped one of the students studying English understand some of the finer points of Dead Poet's Society. Boy, that's hard to do in English, much less in Chinese...fortunately, I had one of my class friends there to bounce words off of and translate with. It all worked out, and it was good to do.
Now, I'm listening to Owen Pallet, enjoying his wonderful string compositions, and starting to relax before tomorrow. "What's tomorrow?" you might ask. Well, I'll have the answer for you after it all happens. Yes, I know: cliffhanger. But hey, if I ever want to be a successful screenwriter/novelist, I have to practice.
再见！
杜楷
After that, we went to another portion of Suzhou where we first ate some food (which managed to squirt hot liquid at me not once, but twice! First time was my fault, second time was the fault of the person next to me...it was really funny. =] ), then went on a bit of a walk-around through some smaller shops and whatnot. It wasn't like the historic town we went to previously, but that was kind of nice.
Around 4, we returned to Suzhou University (I refuse to write "Soochow"...dangit, I just did!) where we got cooled off for a bit...before going out to go dancing! Unfortunately, the dancing was a bit of a bust: they merely presented the type of dancing we could do IF we signed up for the class. I still plan on going tomorrow, though; it's the first day of Salsa, and if I don't like it, it won't cost me a thing. I like things that don't cost me anything. =]
Finally, I helped one of the students studying English understand some of the finer points of Dead Poet's Society. Boy, that's hard to do in English, much less in Chinese...fortunately, I had one of my class friends there to bounce words off of and translate with. It all worked out, and it was good to do.
Now, I'm listening to Owen Pallet, enjoying his wonderful string compositions, and starting to relax before tomorrow. "What's tomorrow?" you might ask. Well, I'll have the answer for you after it all happens. Yes, I know: cliffhanger. But hey, if I ever want to be a successful screenwriter/novelist, I have to practice.
再见！
杜楷
Friday, September 19, 2008
Pictures!!
Okay, despite my griping in the last blog, I managed to set up an account to put all of my pictures up on so you fine people can view them at your leisure. Hopefully, this slide show thing works...
And if not, click HERE.
It is all very interesting. Well, not really...but there should be more later.
再见！
And if not, click HERE.
It is all very interesting. Well, not really...but there should be more later.
再见！
Thursday, September 18, 2008
Good days
The title is an obvious contrast with the last blog post. Why? Well, because I feel better! I actually UNDERSTOOD my teachers today! I mean, I've always understood bits and pieces, but today I understood most everything. How awesome is that?! It either means they've finally learned to dumb it down a bit (yeah right!), or I'm finally starting to learn the listening portion of the language better. This is my goal! YES! Yeeeeessss....and that is only funny to me because I read Dr. McNinja way too much.
In other news, I'm going salsa dancing on Saturday with some friends. I haven't done salsa in a couple of years, so that should be interesting. Hopefully swing doesn't completely throw me off. =)
And another side note: to all the people who have been commenting on this blog on Blogger: I did not realize that you were doing so! Hello IMAX friends, Doki, and so on! Um, sorry I didn't respond earlier to your questions. I feel so sheepish now. I don't know that I should go back and answer them now since the moment has sorta passed. But I will answer my *cough* superior's *end cough* question pertaining to photos. The answer is: China's internet STINKS. I don't trust it to upload photos, to be honest. You can be sure that I will have plenty when I come back, and that they were then be posted. If I can find someplace around here with decent enough internet, I'll do a "best of" photo album and put a few up there. That's about the best I can do.
Man...I'm hungry. I need food. Talk to you all later! And, yes, NOW I'll be checking the comment sections. Good to know that people are reading this (besides my wonderful family, of course; they'd read this even if I had nothing to say...oh wait, that's most of the time. =] )
再见！
杜楷
In other news, I'm going salsa dancing on Saturday with some friends. I haven't done salsa in a couple of years, so that should be interesting. Hopefully swing doesn't completely throw me off. =)
And another side note: to all the people who have been commenting on this blog on Blogger: I did not realize that you were doing so! Hello IMAX friends, Doki, and so on! Um, sorry I didn't respond earlier to your questions. I feel so sheepish now. I don't know that I should go back and answer them now since the moment has sorta passed. But I will answer my *cough* superior's *end cough* question pertaining to photos. The answer is: China's internet STINKS. I don't trust it to upload photos, to be honest. You can be sure that I will have plenty when I come back, and that they were then be posted. If I can find someplace around here with decent enough internet, I'll do a "best of" photo album and put a few up there. That's about the best I can do.
Man...I'm hungry. I need food. Talk to you all later! And, yes, NOW I'll be checking the comment sections. Good to know that people are reading this (besides my wonderful family, of course; they'd read this even if I had nothing to say...oh wait, that's most of the time. =] )
再见！
杜楷
Tuesday, September 16, 2008
Bad days
Think I'm feeling homesick for the first time this trip. Not that I wasn't feeling homesick before I came over. I really didn't want to leave Seattle the day I had to get on the plane. But I did because Mom told me that I could come home anytime I wanted. I believed her, and still do...I just don't know right now.
I watched a few episodes of Angel, and I think that's what did it to me. As I watched the episodes that got us hooked into the show, the memories of Mom and me sitting around the TV, watching it together just really hit. I really wanted to go home and watch it with her again with all the trimmings: TNT commercial breaks, Solo and/or Neesha trying to get our respective attentions, eating steak and various other foods, and so on. In other words, home. But I don't know if I'll ever have that again, and that's the thought that hit me. Hit so hard it made me cry. Hell, it's making me cry right now. I just want a home again...but I don't know where or when I'll ever get that, even when I come back from China. Plus, it doesn't help that I'm not sure whether some of the people from SU like me or not. Probably doesn't matter, but dangit if I'm not self-conscious.
In summary, I really want to come home, but I'm not sure where "home" is anymore. It's not the same place it was when I was growing up because I've basically grown up. So the real question is, then, what do I have to do to make my own home? Who do I fill my life with? My roommates are wonderful, for sure, but eventually they are going to want a place of their own, and then what? Do I strike out on my own? Try to find someone else, like another roommate, or perhaps a significant other?
I'm not ready to answer these questions. Not yet. Not here.
I watched a few episodes of Angel, and I think that's what did it to me. As I watched the episodes that got us hooked into the show, the memories of Mom and me sitting around the TV, watching it together just really hit. I really wanted to go home and watch it with her again with all the trimmings: TNT commercial breaks, Solo and/or Neesha trying to get our respective attentions, eating steak and various other foods, and so on. In other words, home. But I don't know if I'll ever have that again, and that's the thought that hit me. Hit so hard it made me cry. Hell, it's making me cry right now. I just want a home again...but I don't know where or when I'll ever get that, even when I come back from China. Plus, it doesn't help that I'm not sure whether some of the people from SU like me or not. Probably doesn't matter, but dangit if I'm not self-conscious.
In summary, I really want to come home, but I'm not sure where "home" is anymore. It's not the same place it was when I was growing up because I've basically grown up. So the real question is, then, what do I have to do to make my own home? Who do I fill my life with? My roommates are wonderful, for sure, but eventually they are going to want a place of their own, and then what? Do I strike out on my own? Try to find someone else, like another roommate, or perhaps a significant other?
I'm not ready to answer these questions. Not yet. Not here.
Saturday, September 13, 2008
Amusement
As in, Amusement PARK. There's one here in Suzhou. Seriously. How awesome is that? Our group has befriended a Chinese student (as in a student who is Chinese, not someone who is studying Chinese...are we clear on that now? Good. :) and he's been showing us around the town a bit, which is awesome. So yesterday we went to a place that is literally translated as "Suzhou Happy Park". And it is a happy park at that. I went on my first roller coaster in...I don't even know how many years. Anyone from my family know the last time I went on an actual roller coaster? Regardless, it was fun. I didn't want to go at first because I had one of those bad feelings in my stomach that usually mean that something bad is going to happen, but it didn't, so...yeah. There you go, right?
Not so amusing: the dreams. I don't know what's up with them, but they're getting stronger. I remember most of last night's dreams. It involved people getting hurt physically, me having to be mean to people, people being mean to me, hearts being broken, and a whole lot of other stuff. It's starting to fade now...but it was very strong at the time. And this is coming from a guy whose last really strong dream involved a ghost woman above his bed. I still wonder why I'm having such vivid dreams here...maybe I regret things I did/didn't do back in the States? Seriously, I have no idea. Maybe something in the water...or lack of something in the water...gah, I don't know, and rambling won't help me figure it out either. Oh vell.
Today's the Mid Autumn Festival (中秋节), so I'm hoping we do something fun, awesome, sweet, or all of the above.
Anyway, that's all from me for now.
再见！
杜楷
Not so amusing: the dreams. I don't know what's up with them, but they're getting stronger. I remember most of last night's dreams. It involved people getting hurt physically, me having to be mean to people, people being mean to me, hearts being broken, and a whole lot of other stuff. It's starting to fade now...but it was very strong at the time. And this is coming from a guy whose last really strong dream involved a ghost woman above his bed. I still wonder why I'm having such vivid dreams here...maybe I regret things I did/didn't do back in the States? Seriously, I have no idea. Maybe something in the water...or lack of something in the water...gah, I don't know, and rambling won't help me figure it out either. Oh vell.
Today's the Mid Autumn Festival (中秋节), so I'm hoping we do something fun, awesome, sweet, or all of the above.
Anyway, that's all from me for now.
再见！
杜楷
Thursday, September 11, 2008
I find
I'm dreaming more in China. More vividly, more often...just more. It's rather odd. Maybe I should start keeping a dream journal while here...too bad I don't have a nightstand since my bed is six feet off the ground. Under the pillow, then. That sounds good. Now I have to go buy another notebook...I keep thinking I'm done with that, but they keep bringing me back in!
Another thing I have to remember: the tickets for Video Games Live! in Seattle comes out in October, and I'll have to buy my ticket either in China or get someone else to purchase it for me in the US. I'm so excited for it; I've waited literally YEARS for it to arrive, and when it does, I'll be there with bells and whistles...or maybe I'll just leave the musical instruments to the orchestra.
For the people who are reading this on Facebook (if you'll take notice, I've been importing these blogs automatically), I apologize if you've tried to get in touch with me recently only to not have it happen. The internet is quite variant over here: some days it works alright, others, it hardly works. It's never great, though, and with the recent switch in Facebook format, I've found it difficult to even get online, much less use things like the chat-bar. So if you strike up a conversation with me and I don't respond, chances are it's because of that. I'm hoping, though, now that the changes are complete, it won't be as big of a deal.
For now, that's all folks!
再见！
杜楷
Another thing I have to remember: the tickets for Video Games Live! in Seattle comes out in October, and I'll have to buy my ticket either in China or get someone else to purchase it for me in the US. I'm so excited for it; I've waited literally YEARS for it to arrive, and when it does, I'll be there with bells and whistles...or maybe I'll just leave the musical instruments to the orchestra.
For the people who are reading this on Facebook (if you'll take notice, I've been importing these blogs automatically), I apologize if you've tried to get in touch with me recently only to not have it happen. The internet is quite variant over here: some days it works alright, others, it hardly works. It's never great, though, and with the recent switch in Facebook format, I've found it difficult to even get online, much less use things like the chat-bar. So if you strike up a conversation with me and I don't respond, chances are it's because of that. I'm hoping, though, now that the changes are complete, it won't be as big of a deal.
For now, that's all folks!
再见！
杜楷
Tuesday, September 9, 2008
Missed my one day to sleep in
Oh well...I suppose there are worse things.
To explain: every Wednesday morning, there's a writing elective course. Because electives are, well, optional, they didn't start at the same time as the rest of the courses. I wasn't sure of that, though, so I still got up at 7 to go to class at 8:30. Again, there are worse things. At least I'm staying on schedule, right?
Just wish the stupid people would take my rent money already...I really, really don't want to be kicked out on the streets here in China. It's not even that much, but it's turning out to be so much work.
So come on, people in the States, what's going on with you? Send me an email, message, comment, whatever. Can't hear from you if I don't hear from you?
To explain: every Wednesday morning, there's a writing elective course. Because electives are, well, optional, they didn't start at the same time as the rest of the courses. I wasn't sure of that, though, so I still got up at 7 to go to class at 8:30. Again, there are worse things. At least I'm staying on schedule, right?
Just wish the stupid people would take my rent money already...I really, really don't want to be kicked out on the streets here in China. It's not even that much, but it's turning out to be so much work.
So come on, people in the States, what's going on with you? Send me an email, message, comment, whatever. Can't hear from you if I don't hear from you?
Update Numero Tres
Boy, I keep forgetting to make note of things as they happen. Oh well...I'll try my best to remember what happened in the past.
Saturday was another day on the town. Well, at least part of the town. We went to the "downtown" area of Suzhou. Basically, think of a gigantic outdoor mall. Well, it's a little more than that, but that's the best way I can think of of describing it. There are so many shops, both brand name and not-brand name, that you literally get confused by everything there is to buy there, including food. Though the best part of the area, in my opinion, was the temple in the center. I am not sure what religion it was (I believe someone said Buddhist, but I could very well be wrong), but oh my god, it was absolutely awe-inspiring. Side note: I use "awesome" to describe a lot of day-to-day events, items, and ideas that really don't leave me in awe. It's part of growing up shortly after the 80's and into the 90's, I suppose. But this temple truly left me without breath, and that does not happen as much. The statues inside were absolutely amazing, the architecture was unlike anything we have in the West...I just loved it wholly and completely. Though that isn't that surprising, I suppose; I've always preferred Asian art to Western. Not quite sure why, but, eh, what can you do?
After our time in the downtown area, we then went over to a park. The most "spectacular" part of that park, whose name eludes me at the moment, was "out of order", so to speak, because of the construction of a nearby light rail. But still, there was something about the park that was just...nice. Today, I think I finally figured out what it was: it wasn't the same as the city. Now, anyone who knows me knows I'm a city-boy at heart. I spent eight years in the country-side (at least, I considered it that), and as peaceful as that was (minus some personal problems...), I still had to get my city fix every so often. But I'm talking about American cities here. Even Seattle at its craziest is nowhere near as hectic in day-to-day life as Suzhou. Or maybe that's because it's our first week here and we've done a lot, or I could just still be acclimating, who knows? Regardless, I liked the park. It was quiet, relaxing, and just a nice reprieve.
The last two days have been nothing special. Sunday we had to ourselves, and I spent a good portion of it just watching my Angel DVDs and talking to my mom for the first time since I arrived. Monday was our first day of class, and although there's something I will talk about shortly, all in all, it was pretty average. I was happy with how much spoken Chinese I really understood, and I'm sure my own speaking ability will increase by such a large factor by the time I'm done here. Monday night was also our last night with Feng Laoshi (our teacher from Seattle U. who came to Suzhou to make sure our first couple of days went well), so that was a little sad. But hey, now we're on our own, free to make our own decisions. I just hope that most, if not all, of those decisions lead to positive outcomes.
So since the "tourist" part of our time in China has come to a close, minus any holidays or weekend excursions we partake in, this blog will most likely become a personal journal of my feelings and whatnot. At least, the ones I choose to share. One of those feelings is a leftover from the last quarter of school at S.U. that even I had forgotten about. If you didn't know, spring quarter 2008 was one of the most difficult times I've ever had in school. I did not want to go to any of my classes, I didn't want to do any of the homework or study, hell, I didn't even want to be in the area. I was just done with everything school-related. It took all my effort to get through that time, and although I'm satisfied with the results, I still apparently have some of those feelings. I realized this when I woke up to go to class today and just went, "No." I remembered how much it took to get through that time, and I didn't feel like I wanted to go through it again. However, I'm going to try. I may need some help sometime, and I may not always do my best simply because I won't want to. But, so help me, I am going to try. The question remains, though: what will I do when I leave China? I'm going to look into a couple of different options, but the ones I've thought of so far are a) continuing to go to school and see how it fits me; if it doesn't, I'll take spring quarter off, and b) taking winter quarter off, still performing my service project for my Freeman-ASIA scholarship but also working nearly fulltime. There's some variation in there between both of them, but that's basically the jist of it. Of course, I may come back, eager and ready to learn and never need to take a quarter off at all. Who knows? Que sera, sera, right?
Anyway, I'll be back soon with more thoughts and whatnot. Man, this is the most writing I've done in a long time...and it's mainly stream of consciousness. How odd...I used to hate that. Maybe that can be my next talk. :)
再见！
杜楷
Saturday was another day on the town. Well, at least part of the town. We went to the "downtown" area of Suzhou. Basically, think of a gigantic outdoor mall. Well, it's a little more than that, but that's the best way I can think of of describing it. There are so many shops, both brand name and not-brand name, that you literally get confused by everything there is to buy there, including food. Though the best part of the area, in my opinion, was the temple in the center. I am not sure what religion it was (I believe someone said Buddhist, but I could very well be wrong), but oh my god, it was absolutely awe-inspiring. Side note: I use "awesome" to describe a lot of day-to-day events, items, and ideas that really don't leave me in awe. It's part of growing up shortly after the 80's and into the 90's, I suppose. But this temple truly left me without breath, and that does not happen as much. The statues inside were absolutely amazing, the architecture was unlike anything we have in the West...I just loved it wholly and completely. Though that isn't that surprising, I suppose; I've always preferred Asian art to Western. Not quite sure why, but, eh, what can you do?
After our time in the downtown area, we then went over to a park. The most "spectacular" part of that park, whose name eludes me at the moment, was "out of order", so to speak, because of the construction of a nearby light rail. But still, there was something about the park that was just...nice. Today, I think I finally figured out what it was: it wasn't the same as the city. Now, anyone who knows me knows I'm a city-boy at heart. I spent eight years in the country-side (at least, I considered it that), and as peaceful as that was (minus some personal problems...), I still had to get my city fix every so often. But I'm talking about American cities here. Even Seattle at its craziest is nowhere near as hectic in day-to-day life as Suzhou. Or maybe that's because it's our first week here and we've done a lot, or I could just still be acclimating, who knows? Regardless, I liked the park. It was quiet, relaxing, and just a nice reprieve.
The last two days have been nothing special. Sunday we had to ourselves, and I spent a good portion of it just watching my Angel DVDs and talking to my mom for the first time since I arrived. Monday was our first day of class, and although there's something I will talk about shortly, all in all, it was pretty average. I was happy with how much spoken Chinese I really understood, and I'm sure my own speaking ability will increase by such a large factor by the time I'm done here. Monday night was also our last night with Feng Laoshi (our teacher from Seattle U. who came to Suzhou to make sure our first couple of days went well), so that was a little sad. But hey, now we're on our own, free to make our own decisions. I just hope that most, if not all, of those decisions lead to positive outcomes.
So since the "tourist" part of our time in China has come to a close, minus any holidays or weekend excursions we partake in, this blog will most likely become a personal journal of my feelings and whatnot. At least, the ones I choose to share. One of those feelings is a leftover from the last quarter of school at S.U. that even I had forgotten about. If you didn't know, spring quarter 2008 was one of the most difficult times I've ever had in school. I did not want to go to any of my classes, I didn't want to do any of the homework or study, hell, I didn't even want to be in the area. I was just done with everything school-related. It took all my effort to get through that time, and although I'm satisfied with the results, I still apparently have some of those feelings. I realized this when I woke up to go to class today and just went, "No." I remembered how much it took to get through that time, and I didn't feel like I wanted to go through it again. However, I'm going to try. I may need some help sometime, and I may not always do my best simply because I won't want to. But, so help me, I am going to try. The question remains, though: what will I do when I leave China? I'm going to look into a couple of different options, but the ones I've thought of so far are a) continuing to go to school and see how it fits me; if it doesn't, I'll take spring quarter off, and b) taking winter quarter off, still performing my service project for my Freeman-ASIA scholarship but also working nearly fulltime. There's some variation in there between both of them, but that's basically the jist of it. Of course, I may come back, eager and ready to learn and never need to take a quarter off at all. Who knows? Que sera, sera, right?
Anyway, I'll be back soon with more thoughts and whatnot. Man, this is the most writing I've done in a long time...and it's mainly stream of consciousness. How odd...I used to hate that. Maybe that can be my next talk. :)
再见！
杜楷
Friday, September 5, 2008
A Quick Update Pt. 2
So, where was I? Ah yes...van to Suzhou.
If you've never been to China, then I don't know that I can describe the craziness that is their traffic system. The horns are not used to get mad at people, there is no road rage...but it is literally every man for themselves. You hear honking, it is to tell you, "I'm-a coming, and you best get out of the way." I'm not talking just cars, either; mopeds, motorcycles, and bikes all have horns that are all used nearly every second of driving. Strange thing is, I haven't seen a single incident yet. A lot of close calls, to be sure, but that's where it stops every time. And nobody gets mad. This will take some getting used to.
Anywho, to continue with the story. We had to travel an additional two hours to Suzhou from Shanghai, so by the time we got to the university (I still call it Suzhou University because the characters are the same as the city, and Soochow just sounds so...wrong to me) it was nine o'clock in this time zone. The rest of the students and I had a fun time getting checked into our rooms...and if you can't tell the sarcasm through the internet, "fun" equals "oh noes, things don't work!" My roommate Tyler and I had some difficulty figuring out how the internet worked, mainly because we thought there was only one internet jack in the room, and as it turns out, that jack is the only bad jack. Other students' rooms have had problems with hot water, the TV, and the air conditioning. Overall, though, I've been really happy with the state of the room. They really give us a lot, even if some of it doesn't always work.
I finally fell asleep and put myself back on a good sleep schedule. I still woke up every so often thanks to the wonderful (again, sarcasm is intended, if you can't tell) effects of jet lag, but my "true" waking up time was around 8:30 AM. That'll serve me well with class times. For Thursday, our day consisted mainly of getting our picture taken for our university ID's, eating a HUGE lunch, taking our placement tests (which I did pretty well on, considering I hadn't studied much over the summer...thanks a lot, two jobs and a play... :P), and then going to the most jam-packed supermarket I have ever seen. Everything is so cheap over here, it's ridiculous. You can buy food over here for around 2 yuan. That's less than 10 cents American. Wowzers.
Friday (for those of you in the US, we're about 15 hours ahead of you, so although you might currently be reading this Friday night, I'm writing it Saturday morning. Just FYI) was our slightly tourist-y day. We went to a canal city call Luzhi, saw the sights, got extremely wet from a huge downpour of rain, proceeded to go to a silk factory, got our text books, and then went back to the dorm. All and all, a pretty full day, despite the rather rushed description thanks to just finding out we are supposed to be somewhere soon.
If anyone wants my Skype account number, feel free to send me a message and I'll give it to you over email so as not to reveal too much personal info on this blog. I can't promise that I'll be on it at the times that calling will be good, but I will try.
再见，
杜楷
If you've never been to China, then I don't know that I can describe the craziness that is their traffic system. The horns are not used to get mad at people, there is no road rage...but it is literally every man for themselves. You hear honking, it is to tell you, "I'm-a coming, and you best get out of the way." I'm not talking just cars, either; mopeds, motorcycles, and bikes all have horns that are all used nearly every second of driving. Strange thing is, I haven't seen a single incident yet. A lot of close calls, to be sure, but that's where it stops every time. And nobody gets mad. This will take some getting used to.
Anywho, to continue with the story. We had to travel an additional two hours to Suzhou from Shanghai, so by the time we got to the university (I still call it Suzhou University because the characters are the same as the city, and Soochow just sounds so...wrong to me) it was nine o'clock in this time zone. The rest of the students and I had a fun time getting checked into our rooms...and if you can't tell the sarcasm through the internet, "fun" equals "oh noes, things don't work!" My roommate Tyler and I had some difficulty figuring out how the internet worked, mainly because we thought there was only one internet jack in the room, and as it turns out, that jack is the only bad jack. Other students' rooms have had problems with hot water, the TV, and the air conditioning. Overall, though, I've been really happy with the state of the room. They really give us a lot, even if some of it doesn't always work.
I finally fell asleep and put myself back on a good sleep schedule. I still woke up every so often thanks to the wonderful (again, sarcasm is intended, if you can't tell) effects of jet lag, but my "true" waking up time was around 8:30 AM. That'll serve me well with class times. For Thursday, our day consisted mainly of getting our picture taken for our university ID's, eating a HUGE lunch, taking our placement tests (which I did pretty well on, considering I hadn't studied much over the summer...thanks a lot, two jobs and a play... :P), and then going to the most jam-packed supermarket I have ever seen. Everything is so cheap over here, it's ridiculous. You can buy food over here for around 2 yuan. That's less than 10 cents American. Wowzers.
Friday (for those of you in the US, we're about 15 hours ahead of you, so although you might currently be reading this Friday night, I'm writing it Saturday morning. Just FYI) was our slightly tourist-y day. We went to a canal city call Luzhi, saw the sights, got extremely wet from a huge downpour of rain, proceeded to go to a silk factory, got our text books, and then went back to the dorm. All and all, a pretty full day, despite the rather rushed description thanks to just finding out we are supposed to be somewhere soon.
If anyone wants my Skype account number, feel free to send me a message and I'll give it to you over email so as not to reveal too much personal info on this blog. I can't promise that I'll be on it at the times that calling will be good, but I will try.
再见，
杜楷
Thursday, September 4, 2008
A Quick Update
Hello to all who are reading this blog! 你们好我的朋友！As it says in the title, this blog is mainly an attempt for me to keep a journal of my adventures whilst living in Suzhou, China at Soochow University. I honestly would have started updating the first day, but I'll get to that part of the story in the minute.
After a hard farewell to my mother (whose reassuring words did more than I think even she knows), I managed to get past security and on my way onto the plane. The flight to San Fransisco was relatively mundane: no peanuts, a little something to drink, and a slightly annoying woman next to me. It was peaceful...until we landed. Upon our arrival in San Fran, our pilot informed us our gate was being occupied by another aircraft, and it would be awhile until we could get off the plane. There were two problems with this: one, I had to pee REALLY badly, and two, the flight that took me to China was boarding in less than twenty minutes. We (my friend Charlie and I) managed to get off the plane with just seven minutes to run to the other side of the airport to the international terminal, go through security AGAIN, and try and find our terminal. When we did, we were quickly informed that our flight had been delayed by an hour. Both lucky and unlucky. Lucky, in the sense that we needn't have run as far and as quick as we did and now we could take a break (aka, I could go PEE!), but unlucky in that our fellow abroad students were now going to have to wait an extra hour for our arrival. But oh well, there was nothing we could do.
The flight itself to Shanghai was, again, uneventful. The most common conversation started was, "So why are you going to China?" I played my DS, read my Chinese textbooks, and ate most of the way, trying very hard not to sleep so that my schedule wouldn't be messed up by a four hour "nap". I succeeded by only taking an hour and a half nap. Upon our arrival in Shanghai, we actually had to take another hour getting through customs and the border patrol, showing our visas I have no idea how many times. Finally, we met up with 冯老师 outside of the gates, and proceeded to get on a van to Suzhou University.
I'll have more to tell later. Right now, I have another adventure to go on, which I will of course write about. :)
再见！
杜楷
After a hard farewell to my mother (whose reassuring words did more than I think even she knows), I managed to get past security and on my way onto the plane. The flight to San Fransisco was relatively mundane: no peanuts, a little something to drink, and a slightly annoying woman next to me. It was peaceful...until we landed. Upon our arrival in San Fran, our pilot informed us our gate was being occupied by another aircraft, and it would be awhile until we could get off the plane. There were two problems with this: one, I had to pee REALLY badly, and two, the flight that took me to China was boarding in less than twenty minutes. We (my friend Charlie and I) managed to get off the plane with just seven minutes to run to the other side of the airport to the international terminal, go through security AGAIN, and try and find our terminal. When we did, we were quickly informed that our flight had been delayed by an hour. Both lucky and unlucky. Lucky, in the sense that we needn't have run as far and as quick as we did and now we could take a break (aka, I could go PEE!), but unlucky in that our fellow abroad students were now going to have to wait an extra hour for our arrival. But oh well, there was nothing we could do.
The flight itself to Shanghai was, again, uneventful. The most common conversation started was, "So why are you going to China?" I played my DS, read my Chinese textbooks, and ate most of the way, trying very hard not to sleep so that my schedule wouldn't be messed up by a four hour "nap". I succeeded by only taking an hour and a half nap. Upon our arrival in Shanghai, we actually had to take another hour getting through customs and the border patrol, showing our visas I have no idea how many times. Finally, we met up with 冯老师 outside of the gates, and proceeded to get on a van to Suzhou University.
I'll have more to tell later. Right now, I have another adventure to go on, which I will of course write about. :)
再见！
杜楷
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