I promised myself that I was going to write today

But now I'm having trouble thinking of all the things I was going to say. Crap...at times like this, I wish I could forgo class and just write in my journal. Ah vell...I'll do the best I can.

So one thing that's been on my mind is writing. I feel like I haven't done as much creative writing as I should, long before I even thought of coming to China. "Age of Thieves" has been more than stagnant, despite the fact that I still do want to finish that story. I haven't been inspired to write an original story in a long time, and I'm not one of those people that can just sit down and force out writing. I don't know if that makes me a worse writer, but that's just the way I work. I have to be inspired by something, anything. Perhaps that's why I'm stuck in AoT; I'm inspired by certain areas, but getting to those areas is really difficult. The ending, though, will blow everyone's minds...or so I hope.

I do think this trip is helping, though; I seem to be finding inspiration in stranger places. For example, has anyone here heard of sleep paralysis? *listens to the silence of the internet* I'll take that as a "no" for now. Apparently, it's this condition that either right before you go to sleep or right before you wake up, your mind is still conscious, but your body is in a dream-like state. Your brain freezes your body when you dream about doing some sort of physical activity, such as running, so you won't injure yourself. So your body is frozen, but your mind is very much aware of the world and aware of the fact that you can't move anything. Your breathing is shallow, your limbs won't move, and even your heart is slower, and you can feel it ALL. It really is one of the only times that most people get an idea of what it is like to be completely paralyzed, and apparently, it's actually pretty common. Nearly every culture across the world is aware of it, and most have named it something along the lines of "being possessed by the devil". So most cultures have had the same fear of it and usually relate it to a ghost or devil controlling your body. This fear is also fueled by the fact that sometimes, the mind can still be dreaming, and since you are awake but can't move, it creates a "demon" that is sitting on your chest that you think you can see.

How did I find out about this? Well, two days ago, I went to my friend's room to wake him up before class, but he never responded. I thought that he was merely tired, so I went to class. When I got back, I checked in on him. He was freaked out because he had heard me knock on his door but he was under the influence of the sleep paralysis and couldn't do anything. Eventually, he passed back out and woke up mere minutes before I came to his room again.

So while I was frightened about what happened to my friend, I must admit, the idea of this condition that happens all across the world inspired me. I'm starting a story in which a woman has a vision about the end of the world during a bout of sleep paralysis and her subsequent task of trying to prevent it. I don't know that I would have thought of that before coming on this trip. So...there you go.

Another thing I've been thinking about. I believe I'm finally...comfortable here. I'm not fluent in any way, shape, or form, but I feel like I know the area around me pretty well and could easily live here for a long time without many problems. Of course, this feeling seems rather odd to me when coupled with the dreams that I seem to have weekly about returning back to the States. At least my bed finally feels like MY bed (even if it is just basically a slab of wood...dang you, Clair, and making me extremely used to extreme comfort in the form of a Serta mattress! I miss it so!).

Um, and yeah. I think that's pretty much it. Oh, except for this: with the exception of Doki, Clair, Kalen, and people I talk to through Skype most of the people who read this blog STINK at sending me emails or messages! I'm serious! I ask questions, I get no response. I say, "Hey, who wants to start a band when I get back?" Nothing. Can't you tell that I want to talk with you people!? I miss you guys and love you very much, but when I don't get any kind of response, it makes me feel sad. Why you want to make me sad?!

Alright, I'm done for now. Whew, that was a lot of things despite not knowing what to say. Talk to all of you later...hopefully. *glares at those who don't talk to me* Yeah, you know who you are...

再见！
杜楷